Tag Archives: Personal Writing

A Hole

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There’s a hole in my blog. We’re going to call that hole August and September.

Most people have the overwhelming urge to apologize for not posting. There will be excuses and statements declaring passion and a list of things that are going to show how the blog has not faded and will be moving forward at a great pace!

That’s not me.

Yes, I probably could have been on here and working at keeping this up. Probably. Maybe not. Sometimes other things get in the way. Life happens. The day job stomps in and grabs up all your time like it was lunch money and you were the kid on the wrong end of the deal.

Sometimes depression sneaks in and strangles your creativity. It uses stress to open the door and before you know what’s happened you’re sitting and staring at reruns because they don’t challenge you and it’s nice to laugh sometimes… right?

I have never actually been diagnosed with depression or anything so official. It certainly felt that way. I didn’t read. I didn’t write. I didn’t paint or draw or create in any way. It was rotten and miserable. I really was busy and the day job was crushing. Lots of things to adjust to in my life added up to me just not having the drive or motivation to do anything but sit and stare. More than once my declared intention was to get home and stare at the wall.

The good news is that seems to be getting better. I’m still crazy busy but certain aspects of things seem to be getting better. Sometimes hanging in there is all you can do. I was hanging and not falling – and that’s the part that really counts.

So – no apologies or grand plans. The hole in the blog remains. I’m starting to work again and we’ll see how that turns out on here together.

Sharp Eyes and the End of the World

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One of the panels I was on at Philcon was titled “A Creative Apocalypse” and the description was, “What creative and original – but scientifically plausible – ways are left for storytellers to destroy the world?”

I kind of struggled with this question initially. Creative I can handle, it’s the scientifically plausible that I was worried about. Part of me really wanted to separate out destruction of all human life from actual destruction of the planet, but that line of discussion didn’t get far. Not much of a story without the people (still horribly narcissistic if you ask me).

Then I seemed to recall something about massive ant colonies that spanned across vast distances. I didn’t have a chance to do any research on it, but it was in the back of my mind that I had seen this so I presented it (when I could) at the panel. I find a plague of bugs to be a less than ideal concept for the end of the world (YUCK!).

I took a moment to see if I could find the information I remembered and found this fun little piece about floating colonies of fire ants in Texas.

Smacking into one of those would certainly ruin your day, but it wasn’t what I remembered. Hunting a little more brought me to the mega-colony. Yes, it was a huge colony and it actually reaches far further than I seemed to recall. Crossing continents. Almost all of them, and they don’t’ seem to fight each other. This could be very bad news for people should these bugs ever band together.

A sharp-eyed friend of mine then pointed me to a whole different point of view. What if all the bugs GO AWAY?

Turns out we need them. We need as many variations and weird combinations as we can keep. We need to learn as much as we can to preserve ourselves. The bug-pocalypse could just be that we don’t have any. A distressing thought indeed. Now to turn that into a world ending story…

The Solution?

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Maybe… just maybe a vacation was the answer.

It’s something that a lot of folks have said is a very American thing, feeling guilty for taking time off. I suspect they’re right.

I’ve been ‘on vacation’ now for a little over a week. Not a proper holiday – haven’t gone anyplace. Stayed at home. Got some things taken care of around the house. Had some time with friends with no schedule pressure. Went to a convention (there will be a report on that coming up too!) and generally enjoyed Thanksgiving.

Also in there I attended a book signing event. One of my stories is in the book Squeekie Celebrates 20 Years of the Cupboard Maker Books! I was very excited to hear that I made the cut and got my story in as a fan favorite. You should go and check out Squeekie’s page HERE. It was fun to sit with other authors and sign books for folks that were kind enough to buy them.

I sat back down here at the machine and started working again. I wrote, edited and fired off a story submission then went back and found an old story that I thought was really good. I took that story, edited it with a new eye, formatted it and fired that one off to another market.

I’ve picked up a book and plunged right through the first chapter.

I think I might just be back on track. We’ll see if this all survives heading back to work and diving into the holidays. Here’s hoping!

Slump

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I thought initially to title this “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Slump…” but I thought I might get into trouble with that one.

This year has been terrible for my creative process. I haven’t written, I haven’t read, I have barely pulled together any art.

I don’t know why. It’s frustrating.

I want to write. I want to create my art. I want to read awesome books. I just don’t seem to be able to pull together the motivation to actually DO any of it.

I look back at a quote from one of my favorite authors, “I don’t have a muse, I have a mortgage.”

I think a meeting with a muse could really help right about now.

Busy, busy, busy….

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The subject line of this post is actually one of my favorite lines from the Frosty the Snowman Christmas special. It’s after Prof. Hinkle is told by Santa what he needs to do in order to continue to get Christmas gifts. He says he hates to lose and run but that he’s got lots to do. Busy, busy, busy…

And I’ve been busy. Most of the time when blogs “fade away” and then come back the individual writing that blog gets all apologetic and claims to have plans for getting better at keeping up, and many other things. I’m not doing that.

I’ve helped run a convention, I’ve met a movie star I admire, taught classes, created art, met and talked to people from a half dozen countries and still had time to catch a movie in there. It’s been a whirlwind – and I have no intention of slowing down. The stuff I’ve been busy with are the sorts of things that you could put on a checklist of “Hey I did that!” or for some people the “bucket list”. I don’t like to think like that, I just like knowing that I have so much story material now because I’ve gone out and done some amazing stuff with some great people. Hopefully one day I’ll get a bunch of stories written and published ~ but if not, I’ll still have amazing stories to tell.

Showing Up

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Showing up. This is a topic that I’ve wanted to take on for quite a while now. I went to a meeting that wasn’t a couple of weeks back. I was more than a little put out at the idea that a meeting (associated with a professional trade organization) would be advertised and then nobody would show up. It reminded me of a news article I saw back during the winter Olympics. The article (here) was about an Olympic skier who apparently is not very good. She is world ranked simply because she keeps showing up – particularly when others can’t. The question in my mind becomes, is showing up enough? I’ve been rolling this around in my head for a while now and I’m still not sure I have a good answer.

To some degree showing up is the only thing that matters.

Showing up, and showing up consistently is the one thing that I’m actually quite good at. It’s something that I think is a virtue or a value and it was clearly and stated or installed I’m not sure exactly how you phrase that, by my parents. It has been a really long time since I was in high school but even then showing up, and showing up on time, was a thing that I was very good at. I actually had perfect attendance all four years in high school. Perfect attendance meant never missed a day (unscheduled – I wasn’t in class one time while I was off looking at a college) and never late. I don’t remember how many people did that in my class, but I don’t think it was many. I don’t know if I got anything from that perfect attendance. I don’t know if that’s exactly the right way to phrase that, because I did get something, I got a pin (I actually I think I also got a piece of paper or some kind of award too) but beyond that I don’t think I got anything. The part I question about this now becomes, is there something to regret? I know other people who took days and very specifically did not show up. Some of those days were apparently the Grand Adventure or the wild story that formed a significant part of their youth. I’m not sure, and never will be, that I didn’t miss something that I could have been out doing.

Grade school is a different topic. There clearly is value to showing up, if not every single day, at least consistently. Not being there will actually cause you to miss out on things you’re supposed to learn. Beyond the simple fact that you would miss things, there are actual legal requirements for kids to attend. I don’t know what the exact requirements are, but I believe there is a limit of either 4 or 6 days that kids are allowed to miss during the school year before there becomes an issue. Clear value and legal requirement.

Moving forward. College does not have the attendance requirement that public school has. I have always understood that showing up for class in college was meant to be an exercise and self-discipline as much as it was for learning whatever the topic was you were supposed to be studying. No college that I had heard of before had placed specific attendance requirements on their classes. This might be something that’s changing. I have recently heard of specific classes instituting attendance requirements in order to receive passing grades. A portion of this stems from the fact that an online presence and virtual classes now allow students who are ambitious enough to cover the topics that would normally be talked about in class on the internet without any interaction with other people. In the past as long as you turned in your homework assignments and sat for your exams those were the pieces that made up your grade. There were certainly classes when I was in college that attendance wasn’t mandatory but made a significant difference in my understanding of what the concept was we were supposed to be covering or learning about. I think that attendance or showing up certainly has value in being able to discuss ideas with others around you and garner some extra level of understanding about topics while giving you viewpoints that may differ significantly from your own.

College, showing up may not be mandatory but clearly is advantageous.

As an adult showing up is something that becomes more difficult to quantify. Any number of day to day, normal 9 to 5 jobs have very specific requirements about showing up. You must be there, you must be there on time, you cannot leave early, and there are a very limited number of days when you are allowed to not be there and even then must have an excuse. That is not to say that there are aren’t jobs available that allow you to set your own schedule. I think schedule is a completely separate question from attendance. There’s a subtle difference attendance and showing up. There are a lot of jobs out there that allow you to work on something other than a normal 9 to 5 schedule. Those jobs while not requiring specific attendance certainly require dedication and work. Essentially you have to ‘show up’ at some point and apply yourself to whatever work it is that you’re doing. The more you do that with a non-traditional job the higher the likelihood that you will be successful. Clearly attendance and the intent behind my phrase ‘showing up’ are two separate issues. Perhaps I need to define what I mean by ‘showing up’. Narrowing that down will help me understand better.

I think it’s relevant to look back at the skier example at this point. She has a world ranking. It’s her job, but also her passion (I suspect). Many people don’t think she’s a good skier at all, let alone world ranked. How can you be bad at your job but still ranked as one of the best in the world? The shortest answer here is there aren’t enough people doing what it is that you do. In this girl’s case I think it’s more subtle than that, and also more important to the chosen field of endeavor than that. No, she might not be great at what she does, but she is consistently there and consistently promoting something that she wants to see succeed. I think that’s the heart of what I mean by showing up. If you want something to succeed, you have to keep showing up. Having the idea, having a desire for something to succeed is not enough. At some point somebody has to keep showing up and doing the work. I suspect that this sport will benefit in the long run from this person continuing to show up. I know in certain professional organizations that I am part of showing up is something that has mattered a great deal and continues to matter a great deal. Membership in our professional group is declining at a significant rate. Good, bad, indifferent, doesn’t really matter if nobody’s there to see what you’re doing. What you do or promote doesn’t matter if you don’t have enough people to have a meeting. All of the benefits that go along with this group simply go away if not enough people keep showing up.

I think I’ve talked myself into the understanding that I’m trying to achieve. Attendance is different than showing up. Showing up and doing the work matters. It will continue to matter because in order for there to be greatness there has to be something available to be great at. Whether or not I will actually be great at anything can be less relevant then continuing to show up so that there is something for others to be great at.

Consistency matters. now that I’ve talked about it I recall that I have written about consistency before. I’ll need to go and dig out this old article that I had written and post it again.

Will the name of this skier be remembered in history? Maybe not. Will that matter to people in the future? It will only matter if the thing that she is promoting continues on and become something greater than what she’s a part of now. Will being remembered to history matter to her? I can’t really say as I’m not in her head. Something I can say with certainty is that consistently showing up and getting out the door and doing things absolutely matters. Showing up makes all the difference in the story of what it is that you do. In the end it will make a difference that you have a collection of fantastic stories that accumulate to make your life. Make your story a great one. Get out there and show up to something.

Audio Learning Curve

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I’m sure that I’ve mentioned this before in my writing. I don’t remember where, but I’m certain that I have because I was incensed. I once read an article in a newspaper that was by one of the staff reporters. This staff reporter had, and I believe still has, regular space that presumably she’s paid well for. This article that she spent considerable space and time on said, in a nutshell, I have nothing to say but there was a deadline so I typed out all these words and turned it in. I couldn’t believe that a professional would simply put something like that out. If it were a column by a satirist like Dave Barry, then I could much more easily understand why something like that would be “newsworthy” for lack of better term. Notably satirists tend not to waste their column space. This person is nowhere near that sort of level nor is she a satirist. This is also something that always bothered about people who on their blogs or their Vlogs or their audio podcasts do essentially the same thing – putting out a big fat pile of “I have nothing to say”.

I haven’t been on the computer much at all when I’ve been at home lately. I have been on the computer for extended amounts of time at my day job. Between that and other life circumstances it has been very difficult to have something to say that is is worthy of posting, let alone finding the time to actually sit down and be willing to get in front of a screen again. I don’t want to be one of those people that simply puts nothing out there for the sake of putting something on a screen. I hope that I can put something out there that is in some small way either useful to myself or useful to others. Perhaps I’ve been unfair now that I think about it to this other person, if she put forth the article in some form or fashion saying nothing but that was useful to her. Something I hadn’t thought of before but it still makes me angry that she got paid for a number of words that essentially said “I have nothing to say”.

Today I am continuing my experiment in audio. I have set up a way to connect my technology with my technology.

Because I spend so much time at the screen already, one of the things that I attempt to do is keep myself physically healthy. Being healthy really matters for all people, but specifically for people who spend a lot of time in a sedentary position working at a screen. I don’t know that this this post necessarily counts as “something to say”, but I’m putting it out there so that if there are any other authors who feel the time crunch that I do combining family and work and other things with their craft. I have a treadmill in the same room with the computer. It took me awhile to come around to the solution, and once I mentioned it to a friend found out that it is not new or even necessarily uncommon. I have added a shelf over the front end of the treadmill and I have set up my laptop on that shelf. I then hooked my microphone in to my laptop and connected myself to the computer while walking on the treadmill. This gives me the opportunity to simply speak all of the things that I wanted to type well actually being able to walk on the treadmill and try to stay healthy at the same time.

Something else I’ve done while walking on the treadmill actually hook myself into the safety equipment. There’s an emergency stop connected to a string that you can clip to whatever you’re wearing. Normally I bypass that right away and simply use the treadmill. It’s something that I haven’t ever had problems with in the past. Now I’m clipped into the safety piece and because I don’t have a wireless microphone I’m also clipped in to the headset attached to my laptop. I think all I need now is some sort of breathing apparatus like one of those things you always see in science fiction films and I’ll look pretty out there. I went with the safety thing because I could clearly imagine the first time I tried to do this something would go horribly wrong I would fall, then the laptop would drop on my head and the tread portion of this machine would simply continue to run either or both pushing me off to the end and creating some unnecessarily painful friction.

I think I have learned a couple of lessons already this morning. First, it’s hard to type while walking so put your password before starting the walk. Next, I don’t know if there’s a way to move the cursor backwards. If there’s any kind of mistake and what it is that you said, you need to go back and edit it later. Lastly, this does make this post (and anything I’m writing) essentially a pure stream-of-consciousness writing style. I have yet to discover whether or not this will in fact make my writing any easier to read in terms of flow and understandability.

I also find it amusing, but I believe there’s the very real chance that I’ll be speaking to somebody and actually use my punctuation when I’m speaking out loud to them now. I definitely think that would be an entertaining story the first time that happens. “Oops. Sorry, I’m used to speaking this narrative into my computer and I just forgot that I was actually speaking to a person. Good news, you’re in the story now”.

Interestingly enough I’ve actually gone past my normal daily amount of walking on the treadmill while doing the speaking and still been able to knock out all these words. I think this experiment’s going to continue into the future. Hopefully that means that I’ll have more things that I will be able to say in a timely manner and get them out to my blog on a regular basis.

Now I just have to make sure that I always have something to say.

Audio Test

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I was looking for something in a Google doc a few days ago and saw a voice tool listed there. I plugged in my headphone mike and tested it out. This should be interesting. Space I got that wrong I thought I would have to actually put in the spaces but what I have to put in is the punctuation and it spaces those automatically. I’m actually testing out for the first time using a microphone to type out the things that I would normally sit here and type out. If I can talk my way through these sort of entries I think it will really make my ability to get blog post and writing a bunch of other things done far more quickly than I ever could before. I’m hopeful that this will work out and it won’t need a ton of editing but even if it needs editing this is going to be considerably faster than any other method of inputting my stories my words my anything. return paragraph Okay so any word that I’m going to say is just going to be put in there. I don’t think there’s a way to make this change paragraphs or do anything other than put lots of words together as quickly as I say them. I do have to say the word recognition is really fast. I put this paragraph together in seconds and it’s just flowing along with my words. Now what I need to do is gather up my script if you will, or my outline, and start moving forward with my stories. I have a feeling that this is going to be something considerably faster than anything I’ve done and then it’s going to take me twice as long to edit it because I don’t know how the hell to make a

The funniest thing… I said

And then it jumped to a

And I can’t actually type

I wonder if anybody reading this will see the humor in this creating a

every time I try to say

Another line another paragraph thankfully it doesn’t pick up the laughing and the snorting. I keep forgetting to put punctuation at the end of my thoughts. It’s very very odd. This is going to take a massive amount of editing I can see that already but I am very enamored with this test. I think my next piece is going to have to be a timed test to see how many words I can put together in what amount of time. Because I think I could throw down a lot more speaking then I can typing I’ve been at this for far less than 5 minutes I’m certain and I’ve knocked out a whole page without actually typing anything.

Problem that I’m finding in here is that this becomes very stream-of-consciousness very quickly and I’ve lost track of what I was saying and I can see looking back at the page above that I repeat myself and tend to use the same words frequently and these things show up very clearly when someone else is typing for you even if that’s somebody else’s the magic Google computer.

I’m going to have to edit this after my next meeting and post about it. my first foray into the land of somebody else typing for me.

Looking for your input!

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I’ve had an idea – or part of an idea knocking around in my head for a while now. It’s an idea that hasn’t gone away, so I figure I should write about it. The problem is – I’m not sure how to approach the topic (or multiple topics) this would cover.

Let me explain.

One of the struggles a lot of modern writers face is the dread “day job”. As it turns out, I really like what I do during my day job. I work in the architecture field. I get to draw buildings all day, figure out challenging three dimensional puzzles, resolve health, safety and welfare code conflicts, and a bunch of other stuff that essentially would sound like ‘details’ to most folks outside the industry. It’s creative and challenging work.

I really want to write (and possibly present a talk on ~ say for a convention) a couple of topics relating to the field of architecture, but just saying “architecture” is such a broad statement I don’t know where to start.

Some of the things I’ve thought of digging into (in no particular order) are:

Archologies

Current building trends (smart building, green building, urban trends… what trend?)

The influence and art of architecture in the movies

The real problem here is even those 3 topics have huge swaths of ground they cover.

Articles like this one on current structures that look like they’re right out of science fiction are cool and inspirational, but do you want more than that? Less than that? Different than that?

So – if you have a thought or opinion on what you might like to hear about from that list leave me a comment (or drop a comment on my Facebook link where this article shows up) I’d really like to hear from you.

Man And Machine!

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Man and MachineMan and Machine by Mike McPhail
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Right up front – one of my stories is in here. I *might* be biased in my rating.

I really did enjoy the stories in this book. There are some really good stories and very talented writers in there and I’m very happy to have the chance to share the pages with them.

I won’t give any spoilers, but there is a punch to the feelings at the end.

Go, get a copy!

View all my reviews