Comfort Zone

I don’t spend a lot of time watching shows or movies that are outside of my comfort zone. I think it’s worth noting that getting outside your own comfort zone is important, but it’s also work. I have declared before that I am a true child of media – the original MTV generation – but over all this time I have really moved away from so many forms of entertainment. I have narrowed my focus and made an effort to get away from the things I just don’t enjoy.

I was drawn to a particular publisher based on the description listed on their submission page:

If it’s a story about a 13 year old girl named Mary coping with the change to womanhood while poignantly reflecting the recent passing of her favorite aunt Gertrude, we DON’T want it! Now, if Mary is the 13 year old daughter of a vampire cowboy who stumbles upon a government conspiracy involving aliens & unicorns while investigating, hard-boiled style, the grizzly murder of her favorite aunt Gertrude, then we’ll take a look at it.

This seemed like a place where I would fit right in. I stick to what I like a lot of the time. It has taken a long while, but I have started to figure out what it is that I like. I can define it. I understand it. Yes, sometimes it’s quite predictable and I’m just fine with that.

So, when I was given a homework assignment for a class I am taking that amounted to reporting on the movie The Peanut Butter Falcon I was… less than enthusiastic. This movie had a lot going against it.

First and easiest, it was assigned homework. I could get past that ~ I am taking the class after all. I’m paying for it, I’m sure as hell going to do the homework.

It’s frequently described as “heartwarming”, “real” and “wholesome” along with a lot of other things that make this story about a man with Down syndrome who goes on a life altering adventure start to sound WAY too close to that description above. Definitely not something I’d consider go-to entertainment.

It also stars Shia LaBeouf. I have never met the man in person. I don’t know him and would genuinely reserve my personal opinions about a person… however he has managed to so thoroughly annoy me that I can’t stand watching him. It doesn’t matter the role, I only see his annoying face. I really can’t stand him. At all. He makes it easy to dislike all things Hollywood.

Normally that’s strike three, that movie would be out. Add to the case against with it’s hard to find. It’s not on any streaming service that I have. I have been told it’s on Hulu, but I wasn’t signing up for an additional service just to dig up this film. Thankfully my Luddite self is still part of the DVD program with Netflix. Yes, you digital natives, I get an actual physical disc in the mail when I request it so that I can play it in my local player. I do not depend on the whims of streaming services nor the speed of the internet when I really want to just sit and watch without interruption. So I added this movie to the que and waited for it to come in.

A couple of Saturdays ago I found myself in possession of said disc and happened to have a couple of hours to deal with it. I treated it like a chore. It was an unpleasant side effect of something I wanted to do, so I sucked it up, sat down and hit play.

I believe your expectations of a film factor heavily in how you feel about the film when you’re done. I had built this up to such a terrible thing in my mind that it would have had to be truly terrible to meet what it had become in my head. Tempered with that in mind, I will tell you that this is a genuinely good movie. It’s not just good, I’d recommend it.

No, I still can’t stand LeBeef. Yes, he was exactly what that part needed. Exactly. I will not hesitate to tell you that Zack Gottsagen’s character hooked me immediately. He’s hilarious and genuine and IS that part. Yes, it was written with him in mind, but I’ve seen films where the script is written with an actor in mind and they still suck. Definitely not the case here. The other characters were dead on. There was no smarmy pandering – Zack is an actor playing a role and he killed it. Yes, it was a little bit predictable, but that does not detract from the story at all. It was real.

I’m glad I watched it.

The Power of Listening

I’m not good at it. Listening is not easy. Genuinely hearing what other people are saying is active – a verb. You are doing something, not just passively sitting and waiting for your turn to speak. Most people don’t listen with the intent of understanding, most people listen with the intent of responding.

I’m going to frame this conversation in terms of entertainment, both written and other media, but it is something that should be applied to any other communication.

The movies have always been for me. The massive, record breaking, blockbuster films for the vast majority of my life have been super white. The awards given out have been all white. The works they were based on were overwhelmingly white. It’s been a white, white, white world.

February is black history month. The Academy of Motion pictures is holding it’s annual awards this first weekend of February. Will diversity show up? I have my doubts. Check out this video to hear what prompted my thought process.

When the comic book adaptation film Black Panther came out I was very excited to see another part of the Marvel cinematic universe come to life on the screen. BP crushed at the box office and had amazing staying power in the theaters. It got extremely positive reviews. When I reviewed the movie the take away for me was “this movie was not aimed at me”. It was a black superhero telling a story that showed that white wasn’t the only way. It was aimed at NOT white kids to say, “look, this is for you too”. I thought that was one of the best parts of the movie. I have no idea the “realness” of the backgrounds of characters, the authenticity of the costume inspirations – non of that is history I know. It was wonderful, but in the end it didn’t have the same impact it would if I were part of a community that grew up with, knew or understood those things. I appreciate what it is and what it did, but it was not going to be inspirational to me or have the kind of impact it will with people not from my background.

I attempted to explain what I meant to another white person. This white person said something to the effect of, “What? You don’t like it? How can you not like it? Look what Marvel is doing! All those costumes and colors…”

This person wasn’t listening. To them the film was just another part of a bigger whole without the context of inclusion. To be fair – I don’t know if it was a matter of accepting this diversity without question or completely missing the point. The feeling I got during the conversation was that they were completely missing the point. It’s not easy to listen without putting forward your own view and making things fit into the framework you’re comfortable with. Saying that it wasn’t for me was not a condemnation of the film, it was an attempt to understand that an expanded and multi-faceted creation had more to offer than the same old reworked all white framework that I have known my entire life.

Sometimes when listening becomes action it means accepting a different role. Really listening means you’re open to changing your views. Sometimes the different role is not the “in charge” role. Not making decisions or leading. If you’ve always been in the lead it is not easy to relinquish that to anybody else, let alone someone that doesn’t mesh with the homogenized system you’ve become comfortable with.

This is also not an easy conversation to have. Being the middle aged white guy makes putting forward any thoughts on diversity of any kind dangerous. It’s easy to go wrong due to lack of understanding and a lack of willingness to listen. There’s a quote I heard in the past about media that essentially said if you let somebody talk long enough you will be able to take six lines out of context and use that against them – even if that was never what they meant. Sometimes you don’t know or can’t know the right context for asking questions. It can be challenging to put forward that you don’t know something. It will make you vulnerable and people don’t generally like that. The landscape of social media makes it easy to hide behind anonymity and scream out about the faults of others. Nobody wants to be vulnerable. Vulnerability scares people.

Great quote from a great movie, “I have the right to see fine in any color…”

I am trying to listen. I am hoping to be part of a meaningful change. It won’t be easy. It’s something I’m working on. I think I’m getting better, but that’s not really for me to judge. Diversity matters. It matters an awful lot more than we understand. Listen ~ and be part of the change.

Working on Working

Make no mistake, writing is work. I know there are people out there who throw down thousands upon thousands of words and they just seem to flow out of them, but even for those people this is work.

I’m beginning to get myself back to a creative place and be able to do this work more regularly. This is a boon for actually putting words up here. Sometimes there are extra words that don’t actually fit in the stories I’m working on and they slop over the side of the cup. On good days I can mop up those words and squeeze them out into something vaguely coherent here.

Sometimes those words just leave a ring shaped stain on my desk.

The most difficult times are when I really want to lay down a screed about something that has caught my attention in the news and I just don’t have the ability to get here and do it. It’s a spoon thing for folks that subscribe to that analogy. I just run out of spoons.

A good example of this is the latest Star Wars film. I went to see it on opening day. I was at the theater for the earliest show. I went early and had my favorite seat, right in the middle in the middle. Popcorn in hand I was on board to see more Star Wars!

I watched it. I was confused by so many parts of it. It was big, it was splashy and decidedly a “need to see it on the big screen” kind of film. That was the best thing I could say for it. There were a ton of clearly fan service moments in there. There were a ton of really questionable story telling choices. I would honestly need to see it again just to parse out all the weird combinations of stuff that either did or didn’t work. What I really needed to do at the time was jump on here and write all those things down while they were fresh in my mind…

And here I am a month later mentioning that I wanted to talk about it.

Would the words still be relevant? The moment is past. There are a half dozen other things that have come up and made waves since then. There are tons and tons of reviews in either direction (love it or hate it ~ take your pick) and my take would be a rehash of various parts of a lot of them. I didn’t get to the work in time.

That actually brings up another point. Work. I like putting my thoughts up here and having a place where I can land all this stuff that is my own. It’s my web site ~ I own it. I will put what I want up here, when I want to put it here and not worry if some massive company is going to accidentally “ban” me for a month or whatever. It’s my own and I will do as I please. It is my own, and this doesn’t pay. All these words are free and sometimes I need to focus on the words that pay. I will be the first to tell you that they don’t pay well, but they do pay (from time to time).

So I’m going to continue to work. If you’ve meandered with my train of thought all the way to the bottom of this ~ thank you. I appreciate that you’re reading. I’m off now to hammer out some more of those words that are supposed to pay.

If you’d like to see a really amusing take on all sorts of aspects of the most recent Star Wars film that didn’t really work head on over to YouTube and check out Pitch Meeting. I thought it was more than funny, it was pretty right on.

Endgame – Part II

I recently posted about a small moment in the juggernaut movie that is “Endgame” that my daughter related to.

I was not the only one that noticed this scene. Others were not impressed but did not have the same perspective I did. While my post has one specific spoiler moment, these posts have many. In my last post I was not trying to claim victory for the MCU. They’re a business (stupidly successful) and will do what makes money. IF they’re as smart as this long movie arc says they are, you’ll see more and better.

Given how politics have played out recently, I know we need more attention to this sort of thing. We MUST do better. I think we will. For my daughter’s sake, I hope we do.

Tor – long way to go for women:  https://www.tor.com/2019/04/29/avengers-endgame-shows-us-a-universe-that-still-cant-do-right-by-women/

io9 – deserved more:  https://io9.gizmodo.com/avengers-endgames-women-deserved-more-1834388344

The Kid Who Made No Money

I took the family to see a movie. There are lots of movies coming out – and a lot of really good stuff to see. We went to see “The Kid Who Would Be King”. Yes, it’s a retelling of the Arthurian legend BUT it was new, it had at least one amazing actor and had enough of a budget to have really good special effects.

Guess what?

It bombed at the box office. It makes me more than a little sad to think that once again, just like Mortal Engines a movie that was not tied to a massive franchise, wasn’t a sequel and wasn’t a direct remake of something we’ve seen in our time dismally failed at the box office. I still hear people complain about movies and the lack of enjoyable new stuff that Hollyweird produces and yet once again there was a complete failure to show movie types that’s what anyone actually wants (by going to see a good film!).

IF you have a kiddo around the 10 – 14 year old range OR you just love movies aimed right at that age group you should definitely check this film out. It was a fun retelling of the King Arthur legend and had the bonus of giving some total ‘gross out’ information that turns out to be quite real (Merlin’s diet info is REAL)!

Mortal Engines

People have a lot to say about what the movie industry has to offer these days. Most of the time what I hear is, “Hollywood is out of new ideas…” in some form or variation. I will split semantics on this one. I am slowly coming to believe that they’re not out of ideas at all. They’ve got lots of ideas, just nobody with the guts to put something new out there. IF by some crazy chance somebody manages to push through an original and interesting idea that gets made into an actual feature film, the marketing team has no idea what to do with it. They attempt to cram it into a box and force it to fit some concept of ‘what will sell’ that may or may not actually have anything to do with the movie.

I believe that last bit is what happened to the film Mortal Engines. The movie is based on the book of the same title by Philip Reeve. I read the book back in 2009. That was actually before I started posting my book reviews here but those old words are still hanging around on Goodreads. I was excited to see this film in theaters. It’s new. It’s not a sequel. It’s not a remake. It’s NEW!

When I saw the box office results I was very disappointed. For all the people out there that clamor constantly for something new and different this was a staggeringly poor turnout.

 “…second straight flop for Universal… following “Mortal Engines. That $100 million film debuted last weekend with $7.5 million film in ticket sales.”

That’s dismal. I’m not in the industry and even I see that as dismal. On paper this movie had everything going for it. One of may favorite directors was on board (I’m trying to look past the Hobbit fiasco). Great actors were involved. There’s action, there’s a revenge plot, there’s romance. The characters are diverse. There were so many good things…

I’m not sure why it hasn’t been more successful. The visuals and special effects were excellent. The acting was good. I enjoyed it. I will buy the DVD when it comes out. I think it’s a movie that is worth seeing – above and beyond the simple fact that something new needed to be supported so that the people funding films put more new things out. The only thing this will do is push the number crunchers back to Dukes of Hazard 3 Accessible Parking and that is just depressing.

I put this movie directly into the same category as Jon Carter of Mars. That movie should have been a big box office hit with multiple stories to follow up and the people selling it just couldn’t figure out how to get it to you. Mortal Engines is a good film and if you get the chance to catch it you should.

YouTube and Silo Entertainment

Voice typing is something that requires more setup then I think works well with actually getting started on my treadmill. With time I think this will become something better than what it is right now but I need to have a lot more things preset before I start. There’s also a lot more editing to be done after the fact. My typing is slow, but the edits are a whole lot faster. More set up, more follow up.

I think that goes with the theme of what I want to talk about.

There are a lot of things that the computer does really really well. There is an amazing amount of information and entertainment that is at my fingertips all day, every day. I have discovered that there are certain things that I enjoy watching on YouTube. Problem is, I also like to use YouTube to find new things that I’m interested in watching or listening to. I say this is a problem not because there isn’t an infinite variety of things on YouTube, but because YouTube makes an effort to specifically cater to the other things that you have already watched. There are two particular, I’ll call them chat show hosts, that have very interesting guests and interviews.

I’m not quite sure how to express what it is that YouTube does. I have watched an interview with a particular host, therefore YouTube me a huge list of other things that this particular host has done. The two chat show hosts that I found interesting have hundreds of videos available. Now my “suggestions” page is nothing but videos from these particular chat show hosts or music from the one or two artists that I have listened to. Literally nothing else.

This list of suggestions is fantastic when that’s what I want to listen to. If I don’t want to listen to one of them or I’ve gone through all of the interviews or items that I found interesting from these particular interviewers and want to find something different, I now have two type in specific search words in order to find anything. Then even if I have searched for something different, still about half of my list are items related to the videos I’ve already seen. Not only does that make it very difficult to find other things that are new and interesting, but it narrows my selections to things that this computer program believes are my taste. This doesn’t give me an opportunity to find things that might not necessarily match exactly what I have watched before. It becomes a silo. It’s almost as if there is nothing else in the world except what I have seen already or the people that I have already indicated that I enjoy listening to.

YouTube is not the only entertainment provider that does this. Netflix is actually another provider that does something very similar. The list of videos that are recommended to me from Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, Hulu, or any other place where I actually watch videos has become an extremely narrow selection. I only see things similar to what I’ve seen.

I think one of the things we need is an ability to have what I would call an anti-logarithm. The computer has the search pattern that it thinks it gives me all the things I want to see, but I want an alternate search pattern that gives me a list of other things with an opportunity to find something I didn’t know I was interested in. It is a struggle to find something new and interesting when my entire recommendation list is a bunch of things that match or closely match what I have already seen. It’s insular and boring.

Entertainment videos are not the only place where this becomes a problem. Facebook is another example of only showing you the things you want to see. It becomes very easy, very quickly to only ever see opinions that match your own. While I understand that there are number of times one doesn’t want to see inflammatory opinions or the ideas and concepts that make you angry, there is still a need for the availability of those things. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy? You put an opinion out and the only people who see it are those who already agree with you. You gain a warped View of exactly how popular something really is. There is no reality check.

I wish I was better at math and/or computer programming. I think it would be a best selling app or program, that would be the “find me something new” button. I don’t know if simply applying and negative prefix to any of the programming language would provide the alternates that I’m thinking, but I’m sure there has to be a way to develop a search engine that picks out either popular or specifically different trends that might not necessarily match the things you’ve already seen. I think more people need this in greater quantity than ever before. Not just from an entertainment point of view, but also from an information standpoint. Most people these days receive and process more information than ever before. It’s far too easy to fall into the trap of filtering all the information to become just the things you want to hear it gives a warped perspective and it’s terrible for actual entertainment value.

Perhaps what I need to do is float this idea out there for free. Somebody needs to make that app or program that is called “change my mind”. Even that is actually a meme that I’ve already seen before. I don’t know its origin, I just know that it’s really popular. A guy sitting behind a card table in a park with a cardboard sign hanging in front of it. Written on the cardboard is an inflammatory or challenging question, ending with “change my mind”. I don’t think asking the people who like the same things you like to change your mind is necessarily an effective tool. I think if there were a statistical or mathematical based program it would work in a much healthier manner.

I may regret this part, but they’re only about a half a dozen people that read this. Give me a comment that is something I should search for on YouTube or Netflix that will change the search patterns that has narrowed my entertainment. I both look forward to, and cringe at the thought, of what you all have to say.

The End (of the secret)

It’s been much longer and more drawn out than I anticipated posting all the things I wrote about being a Neilsen Family. I think this final post is a fair comparison to the entire experience. If you’ve been reading along you might think, “Huh, I kind of forgot all that stuff…” and by the end that’s kind of where I was with plugging the number into the remote every time I watched TV. It sort of became this afterthought rather than some kind of actual, accurate tracking thing in my mind. We’re close to a year since all the equipment went away and I can say that while intellectually I might miss the influence, I most certainly don’t miss tracking stuff and having extra buttons laying about.

Another interesting note? The amount of television watched has fallen back off a cliff. People will say, “have you watched…” and generally speaking the answer is no. There just isn’t enough there for me. Sure, there are quality shows out there and things I want to watch, I just don’t feel the need to rush out there to see any of them. I never did get to that ‘one more’ entry I thought I would get (unless you count this one). Here’s the final entry in the ‘secret’ series:

June 27, 2017

Habits are hard to break. Going cold turkey is certainly a way to break a habit. I was told last night by my wife that the folks from Neilsen called. They will be stopping by the house today and unhooking all the monitoring stuff from our home.

That’s it, we’re done. Cold turkey indeed.

It’s actually difficult to believe that it has been 2 years already. In that same breath I also find myself thinking it’s a good thing to stop now. We’ve gotten into a routine with the monitoring equipment and there are a lot of days when I actively question the accuracy of what we’re showing. How many times have we not had the right folks listed compared to who’s actually sitting in the room watching (or listening) to what we’re playing? Hard to say.

How many times have I come home to find that the music I had been playing when I left (and allowed to continue to play for those staying at the house) was done and everything had just been sitting there waiting for me to come back and “check in” for the purposes of ratings?

How accurate are those ratings when we switch to a streaming service and avoid the regular TV channels? We are well into the worst part of the year for television in my opinion – it’s terrible. More terrible than I normally find it. We have the system on, but most often are playing music via a streaming service. Does that count?

What I would love to know is what our profile has looked like over these 2 years. I have no doubt that we’ll never be able to see or know any of that, but I think it would be fascinating. What did we say we were doing / watching vs. what we were actually watching in terms of hours on the system? Information that is up for sale…

And that’s the reason for the big secret all this time. What we’ve sold to Nielsen is something they’ve packaged and sold to somebody else. We’ve had our time, we’ve tried to show what our preferences would be and in the end we’re just part of the larger numbers that broadcasters are aiming for.

I hope the few shows I really like survive. I don’t believe for a minute that the shows we don’t care for will suffer for us not watching them. I would hope that, but we are still clearly not the target demographic for a lot of stuff.

I suspect there will be one more blog entry after this. The post departure impressions and how things have changed after all the monitoring equipment left the house. How the kiddo will deal with the change (or if she’ll notice). Hopefully all this will prove to be interesting reading (if only there were a way to track that…).

The Secret Counted

Well, it counted a little anyway.

This is another in the few remaining posts of my thoughts from when I was part of the Neilsen rating system. I’ve mentioned before about the company’s request to keep this a secret. This was one of those times when I didn’t want to, but it would have felt entirely self serving. It in fact feels entirely too self serving to “tag” the person I mention in this post. I did what I could, when nobody was watching.

April 4, 2017

Miraculously, when the end of our trial period came up in late December / early January the company we get our TV from extended our ‘bonus’ time for signing up out another year. I did not call them to complain. I did not call them at all – they simply did it.

I can’t say they know, but doesn’t that seem suspicious? When has a cable company ever given you anything for free without you demanding they make up for being shitty?

Suspect I say. Suspect.

It’s been longer between my entries here than before. I think it’s because we’re coming up on the two year mark for this and it has just… faded. I still know it counts, I still log in when I start up the TV but there’s no enthusiasm. There’s nothing on the program schedule that I really want to see. There’s very little I’ve been really interested in supporting. I can say the one exception to that is when Myke Cole started promoting a show that he was going to be on. THAT was exciting. I tuned in live and logged in to have my ‘vote’ count for as much of the season as I possibly could. Anything I couldn’t get to live because of my schedule I went back and looked at on demand via the television provider service (rather than an on-line service). I have no idea if I made a difference or not. This was another one of those times when I desperately wanted to say something – but had to keep it to myself. I tend not to watch, like or enjoy reality television, but the CBS show “Hunted” fell into the exception category. It was very interesting. If you can still dig it up on demand someplace it’s worth some of your time to check it out.

The End Is Nigh!

I know there’s at least one person out there actually reading these posts and the stuff I’ve been pushing out here about my time as part of a ratings family has been uneven in its release. Honestly, it was uneven when I was writing it and more so when I was actually clicking the box. I think I’ve only got 2 left after this one. From football / election season, it’s interesting to look back.

November 11, 2016

I ran for cover since the last time I wrote something for this. It was election season. It was such an acidic, nasty and overpowering beast of a race that I just couldn’t watch. If I was watching something, it was an on demand show where I could hide from the commercials. I attempted to watch some football, but the commercials that bombarded me approximately every 3rd play were horrific. I turned away.

Along those lines there have been any number of news articles lately about how the ratings are way, way down for the NFL this year. The NFL regularly draws big numbers, but not so much this year. Guess what? Part of that is me. Most people say that, but this time it’s actually kind of true. I’ve tuned out. I couldn’t stand the political stuff grating on my last nerve after long days. The games themselves have become slow, angry affairs where grown men argue like children in the playground. Multi-millionaire players dance and flash finger symbols and whatever else after every play. EVERY PLAY. How about be a professional and just play the next play. Don’t dance. Don’t gesticulate or gyrate. Nobody gives a flaming bag of dog shit that you made your 53rd tackle of the season. Do you job and shut up. Nobody working double shifts wants to hear how a 6 year 48 million dollar contract wasn’t enough and you had to do right by your family. Shut UP.

The NFL also suffers from the old contracts it’s got with television stations. I say this because it was another reason I turned the games off. I was watching a team that I like and don’t get to see very often. They were winning. Rather than letting the game play out somebody decided to go to a game that was tied and likely to head to overtime. More competitive, more exciting. I was angry that I wouldn’t get to see my favorite team, but a more exciting game would be good. Fine. The teams were in the same conference and one of them was likely to end up in the playoffs against my favs so worth a look.

THEN THEY STOPPED PLAYING THAT BROADCAST JUST BEFORE THE POTENTIAL FINAL SCORE BECAUSE THEY HAD TO SHOW THE LOCAL TEAM THAT CAN’T WIN A DAMN THING AND COULDN’T BEAT A SOLID HIGH SCHOOL TEAM.

Needless to say, I was somewhat upset. I simply shut it off and walked away. My voice actually counted this time though. At least a little.

Along those lines, this is supposed to be a secret. Secret so that our family is not unduly influenced in any way about what we watch or how we interact with sponsors. Well, if everything about this is supposed to be a secret – why would Nielsen plaster their name all over the remote controls they left here? Like it’s a brand somebody would shop for. I ask this because it’s difficult enough trying to get the data put into the little box on the TV when we have guests without arousing suspicion about what we’re doing. I have some very clever friends. Nobody has to be clever when they are over for an evening, pick up the remote and say, “Huh, Nielsen. So you’re doing the TV ratings thing, right?”

So much for secret.

I’m supposed to let the company know when somebody knows, but I have become suspect of this whole ratings thing. It has become something that is so routine now as to be defaulted to where it was when we turned the TV on, no matter who is here or what’s going on. My ID has become the one that gets left on when my wife walks away and doesn’t want to change the music channel we listen to. I’ll have taken the kiddo out to the dojo and will come back 2 hours later – but my ID is still the only one logged in. I hit the button and it’s all logged, even though I wasn’t actually here. Suspect at best. Flat out skeptical most of the time.

We’re coming up on the end of our promotional (free) time for the TV channels that we have. It’s actually the only reason we have TV beyond what we can stream from the internet or Netflix. It will be interesting to see what happens once that changes.