I spent my evening at the monthly meeting of my local science fiction (and fantasy) fan/reading group tonight. We’re about to wrap up our 26th? year. We’ve been at it a long time. One of the things we’ve been doing during that time is creating a monthly fanzine.
There was a time when I was very bitter that we were clearly eligible for winning a Hugo award in the fanzine category and could never gain any traction, even with our own members. That eventually slid into disappointment more than bitterness, and then into happiness that we weren’t tied to scandals and terrible nonsense.
These days, we keep creating the fanzine because it’s a small thing that brings us joy. A few dozen ‘subscribers’ and a way to get some relatable content out to our friends. Yes, we’re still eligible to win a Hugo but I’m no longer certain it’s a thing we would want.
Jeff dug up some physical copies of old covers. For many years we had an actual, printed paper copy to hand out live and in person to anyone showing up for the meeting. These old pages showed me a variety of the kind of artwork I’ve done over the years. A lot of what I saw here was cringeworthy. Some of them I like to this day.
I don’t post as much about my art here these days in part because there’s less of it than there used to be. I just don’t have the same amount of time I did before. There are so many things to do in this world that sometimes I lose track and don’t create as much art as I’d like. Even the cringey stuff. Gotta break some eggs and all that.
I suggest doing art. Create something. Save it if you like OR give it to somebody. Someday it might come back to you so you can see how far you have come.
This post could have also been titled, The past, exclusion, anachronism and genre. It’s a conversation that has come up more than once with others and in more than one context, so I thought I’d try to lay out some thoughts to get them in order here.
The past and exclusion:
I’ve been involved in genre stuff for a long time. OK, a long time for me but not long enough for others. Even as somebody who’s supposed to be the perfect person to ‘fit in’ at 50, straight and white, I find that I still don’t fit within certain groups in the science fiction landscape. This came up again after the most recent Hugo ceremony where a famous author apparently made a speech that excluded wide swaths of folks and made a bunch more feel angry about how it was all presented. The term “microaggression” came up. For that I defer to somebody much more in the know – an author I would recommend you read when you get a chance! See his post about said microaggressions here.
That feeling, that nagging tiny comment that seems to slide off the chosen group but digs directly into your subconscious is something I deal with frequently. That probably sounds a bit odd, but it’s true. I often feel as though I’m just outside “the group” or that I’m part of the group in question, but only in my particular slice of it and don’t get into where everyone else is.
The microaggression part is in reference to science fiction authors. It is an odd club and one that has for a long time had some twisted form of gatekeeper. This is not the only place where I’ve felt as if I am the outsider. Running conventions has always been on that list too. Fandom in general if I’m being honest about it. That’s where the anachronism part comes in.
Anachronism:
There are a lot of times when I think I have landed just a decade or two later than I was supposed to. I seem to be interested in things that were really big, but really big in the past (recent or otherwise). The fanzine is an example of that. In the 70s and 80s the fanzine held a vital place in the genre landscape. Connections were made, thoughts were shared, and in some cases careers were launched. I’ve helped out with a fanzine for two decades now, but find that ours started about two decades too late for that “control group”. Even when I have reached out to those groups I’ve gotten no reply. WE were here long ago ~ you “newbie” are unwelcome here. It’s rarely said directly, but the feeling is certainly there. It’s something that truly bothers me about a genre that’s supposed to be so progressive (hint – it’s totally NOT).
That lead to another discussion about older works in science fiction. Do you really need to read the works of the people given grand master status? Should you pick up and push through something that was written thirty years before you were born? Maybe. Maybe not. Does your familiarity with these works, chosen by folks that believe they control who’s in and who’s out, matter? Other authors have taken on this topic and put forth decent opinions about it. I tend to like this take on the subject, but I don’t think it fully expresses where I am.
Genre:
I frequently enjoy any number of those old works. Reading the words of Ray Bradbury were amazing to me when I was a kid. He was truly gifted. His prose is smooth, evocative and moving. Sneaking out of the house to go to the local carnival is not a thing that any child I know today will relate to. Tattoos are not seen in quite the same context as when “Illustrated Man” was written. I like to dig into the history and see where so many amazing ideas came from. It gives context to so many things, as any study of history will… but that’s just it, they’re history. They are not entirely irrelevant, but their relevance is limited. Do they have the tug of nostalgia or the faint whiff of ‘this was big‘, of course they do. They were big and important or nobody would remember them. Movie makers have dug into many of those old works and adapted them to great success. None of them have had the cultural impact of a certain boy wizard, but even his influence has already started to change and fade. Things grow and change. It happens.
It has happened with gaming. My dearest lifetime hobby has undergone a vast change in the forty years that I have been playing it. Dungeons and Dragons is not what it used to be. Guess what? It shouldn’t be! If it had been static all this time it would have been relegated to the dust bin a long time ago. It has grown and changed and become something that looks a lot like what I have always loved, but is something new. Should I scoff or brush away people that don’t remember what it was like to have to poke chits out of a piece of cardboard because polyhedral dice were not a thing when I started? They haven’t “paid their dues” … that’s an amazing amount of bullshit all in a few simple words. Thing is, it’s an easy feeling to get. It’s easy to be resentful of people that didn’t go through challenges and to be protective of what you endured pain for.
The simplest answer is no. Whatever my feelings about genre fiction or role playing games might be, they should never be a limiting factor of how others enjoy them. Being the curmudgeonly old bastard yelling about kids and lawns is the fastest way to ensure that what you love dies. IF you’re driving people away from your hobby because they “don’t fit in”, first check your bias and privilege and second, you’re directly complicit in said death. Science fiction is supposed to be about the future. Fantasy gaming is supposed to involve your imagination and dreams. If you can’t see the future or evoke your imagination and are mired in the past, perhaps it’s best if you step aside. The best response, as far as I can tell, when somebody likes something new and shiny (that is entirely a remake of something from way back when particularly) is to say something like, “Oh, really? If you like that, I bet you’ll love this…”. The most important part of that whole statement being a welcoming and social attitude. Helping folks find more of what they love by aiming them at the things you’ve found that you love can be a fantastic way to make a personal connection and the absolute best way to get what you love to live on for a long time to come. I want science fiction and role playing games to be around for a long time to come. I hope I can share some history with you as we go.
