I had big plans for stuff this weekend. I did. Somehow the wheels came off that vehicle and here I am skidding to a stop on a Sunday night facing another long work week where I doubt my productivity improves. This is another one of those “heavy sigh” posts. IF you don’t want to stick with it, I understand. Short version – I withdrew from being part of the con staff team for Discon / World Con.

Some of you know that I was part of convention staffs for many years. It’s a volunteer thing, but it was being part of the fandom community. We had something really special and we made a lot of folks happy. Then that all stopped, rather abruptly. When it stopped I decided that being a department head and helping create a positive convention atmosphere could be handled by others and decided to focus on growing my own presence as an author or an artist as a guest at conventions. While it was still work, I did what I could to make it an enjoyable thing. I really do love it when fan groups get together.

A friend suggested / recruited me to be part of the team that is putting together the World Science Fiction convention this year. I was a little hesitant because I know the work that goes into pulling together a smaller con – world con was going to be significantly bigger than that. I decided I would be part of the team. I know how it all works but I wouldn’t be in charge of anything or anyone – I could just work hard and help out.

Some folks in the fan community are aware of the controversy surrounding the con breaking ties with the person they invited as the editor guest of honor. This has become a significant mess – and I sympathize with the people being put in a position where they are forced to deal with this. There was no way everyone was coming out happy after all was said and done.

The problem – and here’s where it gets to the part about *me* – is that it has brought out some of the worst behavior in the fan community I’ve ever seen. Bluntly, it’s extremely disappointing. I withdrew my support from the convention and left the staff. No, it won’t likely have much of an impact on them. No, I am not writing this as some kind of side picking or declarations of “correctness” for the community at large. It’s because there’s something more important that I think we can all work on.

Here is a slightly edited version of what I wrote to the folks that needed to know on the con staff:

The recent controversy surrounding the removal of a GOH is the starting point, but not wholly the cause for my withdrawal.

The first I heard of this was seeing an ’emergency meeting’ with regards to this being posted. It was the single night of the week that I didn’t have a meeting, but calling something an emergency does tend to garner attention. I signed on.

While on the zoom meeting, and within the first 5 minutes of my presence there, one of the attendees (and I’m sorry that I didn’t stay to record his name for later reference) declared that if you were associated with this Baen board you were either a racist or you were tolerant of racists. Sweeping generalizations about people he doesn’t know and has never met based on a single piece of information. He declared ME a racist or tolerant of racists. He’s never met me. He never saw me. He simply decided that the members of a particular group could be easily labeled and lumped together. Tell me again what everyone’s upset about? I left when the shouting started. I do not have time for that.

There continued to be a lot of talk – and I have been following along. From discord (staff server, not public) – so I don’t mangle the wording:

but I can only apologize for my own bad behavior. It’s no excuse that some of the other children were being naughty as well.

The “I was bad but so were others?” defense? Really? My daughter does better than that. You’ll say “he apologized” but was it really an apology or just an “oops I got called out”? Because there certainly was no retraction there.

“…but I can see the concern about losing people if she goes too. I just don’t figure we want those people.” (emphasis mine)

“Those people”? What sort of person does that sound like?

This is all coming up during the week with some of the most challenging weather conditions in a century across the country (including loss of power for con chair), but waiting until the weekend to make further announcement (after potential meetings, discussion and thoughtful consideration) was unacceptable and we need to have a vehement response immediately?

For the record, advocating violence is not acceptable. Yes the convention should and has made it clear that attendees will be safe. None of that is wrong. Civilized free speech ends when your speech declares the existence of others needs to end. It is not acceptable. Painting with the same paint, just pushing the brush in a different direction is not different, nor acceptable either – and that’s exactly what the “team” has done. It doesn’t feel like a team and certainly doesn’t seem very welcoming to me – never really has. This just cemented it.

I realize that my family’s health issues have kept me from being more assistance than I would normally be for con staff, but stepping directly back into that has made me believe my time, effort and emotional well being would be better off doing something else. IF people on the team want to wrap themselves in a blanket of self righteousness and deal in absolutes while casting unfounded aspersions at other people on the team they’ve never met, I don’t have the willingness to try to be part of this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this if you’ve hung on this far.

That was what I sent, but I want to emphasize something here. WE are ALL responsible for our own behavior. Each person must consider what they are saying and how they go about putting their words out toward others. Words have power. Words have meaning. Turning the same type of words, set in the exact same kind of argument framing as those you argue against back toward them will never help. The convention staff is a microcosm of where we are as a whole in the fan community. People are using the slight anonymity of an online presence to say things they would never say if they were standing face to face with the same people. I am frustrated and saddened that it has reached this point, but I feel that leaving the staff of something I was very much looking forward to was important for my own well being.

I’m going to focus on continuing to build an open, accepting and welcoming fan presence with Watch The Skies. I hope that will be something that fans can work with and share in building.