Category Archives: Personal Observation

Changing Attitude?

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I once heard a very famous author state that he wanted nothing to do with the internet. He based this (I vaguely recall) on the idea that people would then be able to go back, digging into past comments or opinions he had posted from years ago, dragging them out and trying to judge them by some current standard. It was a prescient commentary from a science fiction author. We are now seeing what can happen when people go digging into the past, looking for any scrap of conversation made by (fill in person of choice) in years gone by. Once on the internet, out in public forever… I try to be mindful of this. Part of this past author’s comments were based around the idea that a person can learn, change and grow. The things that once were a passionate position may have been challenged and defeated. Education can happen. Changes in how a person lives, works, acts or presents themselves are common. This is true of anyone.

It’s also true that technology, truly successful technology, will find it’s way into your life. What was once edgy and new will move into the realm of the commonplace. Exceptional will become expected. Delivery methods of said technology will become streamlined and efficient. I place e-reader (Kindle specifically) in this category.

This amused me

I saw that cartoon and it made me wonder how my opinions on certain things have aged. So I went digging (I am in no way known or popular enough to have people trying to dig things up on me). I was fearful that when I went to look at my posted blog comments they would contain the sort of statements that seem outlandish or desperately funny (or worse).

I was most shocked to discover that it has been 10 years since I first wrote about the Kindle. I got my first e-reader back at the end of 2010. It was a stand alone device. I remember my own hesitance toward the device. I occasionally argued against them. I didn’t like certain aspects, but the convenience very quickly won out. In the decade since the stand alone device has merged into phones and tablet tech. The e-book is ubiquitous and somehow the paperback survives. If you have a deep seeded need for nostalgia, you can check out my original post HERE and then check out the follow up a few months later HERE. The second one would definitely be a different vibe today. I don’t think most people would have any issues letting somebody peruse their book collection, but I don’t know anyone that would unlock their device and just hand it over to a coworker to check out… but that’s a topic for another day I suspect.

What’s on your bookshelf right now? Is it virtual?

Withdrawal

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I had big plans for stuff this weekend. I did. Somehow the wheels came off that vehicle and here I am skidding to a stop on a Sunday night facing another long work week where I doubt my productivity improves. This is another one of those “heavy sigh” posts. IF you don’t want to stick with it, I understand. Short version – I withdrew from being part of the con staff team for Discon / World Con.

Some of you know that I was part of convention staffs for many years. It’s a volunteer thing, but it was being part of the fandom community. We had something really special and we made a lot of folks happy. Then that all stopped, rather abruptly. When it stopped I decided that being a department head and helping create a positive convention atmosphere could be handled by others and decided to focus on growing my own presence as an author or an artist as a guest at conventions. While it was still work, I did what I could to make it an enjoyable thing. I really do love it when fan groups get together.

A friend suggested / recruited me to be part of the team that is putting together the World Science Fiction convention this year. I was a little hesitant because I know the work that goes into pulling together a smaller con – world con was going to be significantly bigger than that. I decided I would be part of the team. I know how it all works but I wouldn’t be in charge of anything or anyone – I could just work hard and help out.

Some folks in the fan community are aware of the controversy surrounding the con breaking ties with the person they invited as the editor guest of honor. This has become a significant mess – and I sympathize with the people being put in a position where they are forced to deal with this. There was no way everyone was coming out happy after all was said and done.

The problem – and here’s where it gets to the part about *me* – is that it has brought out some of the worst behavior in the fan community I’ve ever seen. Bluntly, it’s extremely disappointing. I withdrew my support from the convention and left the staff. No, it won’t likely have much of an impact on them. No, I am not writing this as some kind of side picking or declarations of “correctness” for the community at large. It’s because there’s something more important that I think we can all work on.

Here is a slightly edited version of what I wrote to the folks that needed to know on the con staff:

The recent controversy surrounding the removal of a GOH is the starting point, but not wholly the cause for my withdrawal.

The first I heard of this was seeing an ’emergency meeting’ with regards to this being posted. It was the single night of the week that I didn’t have a meeting, but calling something an emergency does tend to garner attention. I signed on.

While on the zoom meeting, and within the first 5 minutes of my presence there, one of the attendees (and I’m sorry that I didn’t stay to record his name for later reference) declared that if you were associated with this Baen board you were either a racist or you were tolerant of racists. Sweeping generalizations about people he doesn’t know and has never met based on a single piece of information. He declared ME a racist or tolerant of racists. He’s never met me. He never saw me. He simply decided that the members of a particular group could be easily labeled and lumped together. Tell me again what everyone’s upset about? I left when the shouting started. I do not have time for that.

There continued to be a lot of talk – and I have been following along. From discord (staff server, not public) – so I don’t mangle the wording:

but I can only apologize for my own bad behavior. It’s no excuse that some of the other children were being naughty as well.

The “I was bad but so were others?” defense? Really? My daughter does better than that. You’ll say “he apologized” but was it really an apology or just an “oops I got called out”? Because there certainly was no retraction there.

“…but I can see the concern about losing people if she goes too. I just don’t figure we want those people.” (emphasis mine)

“Those people”? What sort of person does that sound like?

This is all coming up during the week with some of the most challenging weather conditions in a century across the country (including loss of power for con chair), but waiting until the weekend to make further announcement (after potential meetings, discussion and thoughtful consideration) was unacceptable and we need to have a vehement response immediately?

For the record, advocating violence is not acceptable. Yes the convention should and has made it clear that attendees will be safe. None of that is wrong. Civilized free speech ends when your speech declares the existence of others needs to end. It is not acceptable. Painting with the same paint, just pushing the brush in a different direction is not different, nor acceptable either – and that’s exactly what the “team” has done. It doesn’t feel like a team and certainly doesn’t seem very welcoming to me – never really has. This just cemented it.

I realize that my family’s health issues have kept me from being more assistance than I would normally be for con staff, but stepping directly back into that has made me believe my time, effort and emotional well being would be better off doing something else. IF people on the team want to wrap themselves in a blanket of self righteousness and deal in absolutes while casting unfounded aspersions at other people on the team they’ve never met, I don’t have the willingness to try to be part of this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this if you’ve hung on this far.

That was what I sent, but I want to emphasize something here. WE are ALL responsible for our own behavior. Each person must consider what they are saying and how they go about putting their words out toward others. Words have power. Words have meaning. Turning the same type of words, set in the exact same kind of argument framing as those you argue against back toward them will never help. The convention staff is a microcosm of where we are as a whole in the fan community. People are using the slight anonymity of an online presence to say things they would never say if they were standing face to face with the same people. I am frustrated and saddened that it has reached this point, but I feel that leaving the staff of something I was very much looking forward to was important for my own well being.

I’m going to focus on continuing to build an open, accepting and welcoming fan presence with Watch The Skies. I hope that will be something that fans can work with and share in building.

Called Out

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I have spent a fair amount of time lately talking about Dungeons & Dragons. It’s a hobby that has been with me (almost) all of my life. It has impacted me deeply and changed a number of things for me. I love the game. I have written and spoken with others before about the scars left by the years of the Satanic Panic and how it forever changed my view on many things. What I have never, ever considered is what sort of impact this game that is so meaningful to me would have on somebody that doesn’t look like me, or that didn’t grow up in an environment like mine.

A friend of mine recently posted an article about fantasy role playing being racist to its core. I was a little shocked by this accusation. Only a little shocked as I’d been hearing some rumblings about it, but never anything direct or clearly called out. The article did just that. It pointed directly to all the things that other people found completely wrong and racist that I hadn’t given any thought to. I didn’t ignore this on purpose, it was simply that it literally never occurred to me. Never gave it a thought.

That – the complete thoughtless nature of that statement – is ample evidence of living deeply ensconced in white privilege. I can say that I have not been, nor do I believe that I am a racist – but the pure ignorance of the situation does not help, nor does it lend itself to any believable argument supporting my statement.

Wizard casts mirror image

Story telling has always been my jam when it comes to D&D. I routinely bend or ignore rules that don’t suit my story or my willingness to slow a good story down. I have just accepted the parts of the kit as given and used them to tell stories. I don’t (for the most part) limit my players if they wish to mix and match things that the rules say don’t work or stop them from playing anything against type. The problem is that the “type” exists. I don’t know how to fix that.

Everyone believes they are the hero of their own story. It’s a sweeping generalization that ignores the core of the problem, but it does show a certain something that I struggle with in story telling. I have come to despise the “misunderstood” villain. Yes, there are tragic stories out there. Yes, some people do the wrong things trying to achieve an admirable goal. At some point there needs to be a line drawn. There is such a thing as “bad”. Sure, Dracula might have a tragic love story involved somewhere in there, but he eats people. He’s not misunderstood, he’s a monster. He’s the bad guy. Stories need a ‘bad guy’ to work against. Someone to hinder the hero, work against them and provide the ability to learn and grow past a certain point.

One of my favorite antagonists of all time is the operative in the movie Serenity. Above and beyond the simple fact that Chiwetel Ejiofor is a fantastic actor and does amazing work with that part – the operative is a fantastic ‘bad guy’. He’s relentless. He does all the things you think he shouldn’t do, all the things that make him a monster. He does it because he believes he’s doing the right thing. His belief that he’s on the side of right is absolute. Having a believable and nuanced antagonist is critical to a good story.

Does the ‘bad guy’ have to be the black guy? I hadn’t ever really given it any thought, but others might read into it differently. I want to argue that the color of the actor, doing a magnificent job delivering that part, doesn’t matter BUT I’m not the one routinely experiencing racial prejudice. Tying this back to D&D, do the Orcs have to be the ‘bad guy’? Are there people that read into the race of orc a representation of black people? It’s not an easy question. Are they “evil” simply for being born to a group that is not your own? Doesn’t seem right to think that way. There are rules and statistics connected to what race a character can be in D&D that certainly show a racist bias (and to be fair I only see this now because it’s been pointed out to me). It could be a case of ‘it’s always been that way’ and I’ve been unknowingly perpetuating something that others find deeply offensive simply by enjoying my favorite hobby as it has always been.

Some folks have taken this topic on head first. There is a Kickstarter out there (that has already funded) creating alternate rules for D&D 5e that eliminate the racial based parts of character creation and replace it with ancestry and culture to explain starting bonuses and penalties. I really like the concept. I may buy the supplement to adapt into my own games even though I don’t play 5e. It’s a system that seems to make a lot of sense. It’s certainly worth checking out.

I’m hopeful that since this systemic racial problem has been pointed out meaningful change will happen. Something with as much weight and history as a 50 year old game isn’t going to change quickly. It needs to, but it will stagger under it’s own weight. It’s tempting to take a shot at gamers and say they’ll stagger under their own weight as well – but perpetuating another stereotype doesn’t help. Some of the people involved will not recognize their own privilege and rage at anyone trying to change what they perceive as their own domain. Geek culture has raced to popularity lately, but that doesn’t change the thought processes of people that have felt marginalized or socially disparaged for a significant part of their lives. It’s going to be a long struggle, but one we all need to start NOW.

The first step to correcting anything is admitting to and understanding that there is a problem. Fantasy gaming, D&D in particular, has a problem and I have unwittingly been part of that problem. Now that I am aware I will be more thoughtful of how I represent things, people, situations and characters across the games I play and the stories I write.

I would love to play in or run a super diverse game. I have always taken purposeful strides toward inclusivity and gender balance in all the games I run. I want to do better. I will do better. Knowing more will help. Being aware will help. What sort of things have you encountered (good or bad) in your game experiences? What suggestions do you have for creating a more diverse and accepting game environment?

Productive

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This weekend was one of productivity. It was nice to be able to get back to a place where I felt good about time well spent. There were games with the family (I even won one!), story submissions made, contracts signed, galley proofs checked and plans set in motion for a new secret project.

Research was done, writing was done, new equipment was set up and hooked to the computer. Blog posts made, news feeds checked and household chores polished off with ease.

When I posted about the sad and numb feeling I had after giving in to a lost weekend and comparing it to an addiction, this is what I meant. I missed being relaxed and doing the things I enjoy. Spending time with the family is important. Games, relaxing and generally having a good time matters. Yes, we watched about twenty minutes worth of television. Having a form of entertainment like that around is not in and of itself a terrible thing. Giving in and doing nothing else is. We thoroughly enjoyed the new series of short cartoons from Pixar, then got take out from a local Korean restaurant. Was it perfect? No, of course not. Some of the plans I had for the weekend fell apart. I was prepared to do some filming for YouTube and that totally didn’t happen. No big deal. Changes happen. Things evolve.

Sound like a lot of stuff for a single weekend? That’s the point. I’ve maintained for a very long time that there are too many cool things to do in this world and not enough hours in the day to do them all. That’s a small part of why I always seem busy. I want to do… everything. Why wouldn’t you want to create or play or chat or whatever it is that you enjoy the most?

Coming soon – new work! The contract I signed is for a story that will be coming out in March. I’ll definitely let everyone know when it’s available for sale!

Addictive Behavior

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I had every intention of being very busy and productive over this past weekend. Some of what I planned on doing was being on here and getting more posts lined up. Clearly I failed at that. I was thinking about it and I genuinely believe it had everything to do with a level of addictive behavior from me.

I know there are folks out there that will think this is a pile of nonsense. I half agree honestly, but I want to put it out there because edging toward understanding is important.

I really think that I have addictive behavior and tendency when it comes to watching television. It’s a feeling I have. Don’t know how to explain it. I’m not generally an addictive personality but I AM a complete child of media. When you see those memes about GenX being that “lost” generation that were the first of the latch key kids? That’s me. Come home, let yourself in, lock the door and entertain yourself until we get home from work. It’s not good or bad – not trying to judge here, just giving context. It’s also when MTV started (among many other networks you may feel have “always” existed). I watched a lot of television, saw a lot of movies and this learned behavior has stuck with me ever since.

So what I’m saying is that, as stupid as it sounds, I really can’t break away from TV. I find myself floating back to it even when I *know* there’s not a damn thing worth watching. Then I get all depressed and disappointed when the stuff I watch is total shit. I know this probably sounds even sillier when you couple it with the facts that I was a Nielssen household member at one point AND I write a monthly piece for Watch The Skies called “You Should Be Watching” where I suggest fandom related content to go and check out.

This past weekend I estimate that I watched somewhere between 16 and 20 hours of TV. Maybe more. I lost track of all the stuff I streamed across YouTube. That’s way, way too much. I know this. I couldn’t help myself. I lost all productivity as I jumped from movies to football games to binge watching a cartoon series on Netflix (yes, both seasons of it). Football is really tough to sit through these days, but I did it. All four playoff games. Yes, some of it was likely to become history as very famous players end their careers, but it’s just a mess to watch. The ad time alone has stupid marketing stuff swirling in my head (OK – I’ll give the Tag Team ad props – it makes me laugh more than it should). I saw the new film “Outside the Wire” and it wasn’t bad… it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. I watched Bill and Ted Face the Music. I had really high hopes for it… and those really high hopes weren’t matched.

In the end I just came away sort of sad and numb with nothing to show for my time.

I am thankfully not addicted to other things in that way, but this is a small step toward understanding what folks struggling with addiction deal with. It’s not easy to deal with. It changes how I feel physically and emotionally. I’m going to work hard at shrugging this episode off and try to limit how much time I spend with the TV. Yes, I’m going to keep working the Should Be Watching stuff. No, I won’t take the TV out of the house (the only way I know to stop an addiction – take away the thing you’re addicted to and don’t have access). I am not the only person living here with a desire to be passively entertained from time to time… I just can’t let it be ALL the time. Thankfully this IS something that can be controlled.

IF you’re struggling with something, stick with the plan you have to be better. Keep working at staying away. There will be tough days, but don’t let those days beat you. Be strong.

Riot

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I try to stay away from political things on my site. I don’t want to deal with all the BS that comes along with saying anything political on the internet. There are far too many people out there that only use their time to try to start fights over the inane details of anything one might say. This is MY site and I do with it as I please. It pleases me to stay away from the massive shit show that is the US political system of late. That is not just nationally. It is also right here in the state of Pennsylvania where I now reside.

This is the normal for me. I don’t want to talk about it, so I don’t. Books, movies, gaming, crafting or whatever else catches my fancy, sure. Those are the posts that go up here. That does not mean I am unaware or that I don’t pay attention, I just like to stay away. Today… today was not normal. It feels like something that needs to be marked in much the same way that the September 11th attacks and the start of the global pandemic needed to be noted here.

Today “protesters”, many of them carrying signs in support of the individual currently residing in the office of the president, stormed the capitol building in a (successful) attempt to stop the duly elected officials there from carrying out their jobs. In America. People stormed the capitol.

This is not some third world country. This is Washington DC.

Calling this unacceptable seems like the negligent misuse of understatement.

I, and anyone else that joined the military swore an oath. We signed on the dotted line stating that we would pay any cost up to and including our own death to defend the constitution and our way of life here in the United States.

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

I will defend unto my dying breath the right of any American to shout at the top of their lungs in support of the thing I most despise. That is what freedom means. It is not free. It’s not even cheap. It requires hard work and a lot of personal responsibility. You have to be paying attention and working toward making things better. Every day.

The people that believed what they were doing was the right thing today are the core of the problem. They have not done the work nor have they understood the limits of what can be tolerated. The self righteously over privileged that did this need to be brought to justice.* This was not my initial reaction, but if I claim to be in favor of the rule of law this is the course that must be taken. My initial reaction was one of a significantly more stern reaction. I am still not sure the significantly more stern option should be taken off the table. There are a lot of folks on social media (that gigantic echo chamber) throwing around some big and serious words. Words matter and the ones you pick should be appropriate to the action/event you are discussing. Sedition, treason, instigating violence are all out there at this point (for the people that did the action as well as the person Tweeting them on). Those are big words with serious consequences. They are also not wrong. The penalty for treason against our nation goes all the way up to death. That was my initial reaction and I’m not sure it’s the wrong reaction still. These people DO NOT get to take away what we have here in this country. They need to become an example. The fullest extent of federal law needs to be brought down on as many as can be identified. I don’t care how long it takes. This includes the person Tweeting them on.

What we have here in this nation is special. It’s important. It matters to everyone that lives here, but it also matters to all of those people viewing our nation from the outside. Today a group of people not only made us look like the buffoons we have become, but they have made us look weak and chaotic to those who would plot against us. We must do better. We need to embrace scholarly endeavors, civil discourse and the sort of actions that show us as leading the world in freedom, fairness and compassion. We need to embrace the concept of studying hard and working hard to back that up ~ no matter what it is that you love to do. I love this country and all that it is supposed to be. Today hurt. Today was scary. Is this the world I want my daughter to live in? Today will be marked in history ~ let’s work hard to be sure that it marks a turning point toward a better place for all that choose to live in this great nation.

*Side note – I am also not unaware of the difference in treatment based on color of skin. This deeply embedded racism is also unacceptable. A systemic issue that I feel others have better, more insightful things to say about it.

The End of 2020

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I have said for a long time that I don’t like the ‘wrap up’ posts or lists or resolutions whenever the calendar flips at the end of the year… and I have posted a similar sentiment for a number of years in a row. I guess this passes as my end of year wrap up that I hate to see everyone else do. Can’t escape it, might as well run with it.

Once again, I missed the date. This past Sunday was the 14th anniversary of my blog. It hasn’t always been hosted here, but it’s been going on all those years. It’s a challenge to think of it in those terms. I’ve been operating the Pretend Blog (and pretending I have followers / readers) for almost as long as I’ve had a daughter. I would like to think that my writing, style and commentary have advanced and gotten better over that time, but I’m not a great judge of that. I tend to believe most of the words I toss into salad are a struggle. Writing is work. Finding, selecting and using the exact right word(s) is a constant challenge to me. There are a lot of days when I really wish I were super prolific, I just can’t seem to figure that out. A few hundred words at a time seem to be my best level of output ~ just need to string some of those together and keep putting stories out into the world.

Also, artwork. I still do that too. I’ve put a couple of pieces out there this past year, including a contest entry or two. It was good to have some projects that pushed me to get better at particular parts of art that I enjoy. The contests pushed me to be willing to show off my art as well. I know that I was somewhere around 8th place in the one competition I entered. Maybe some day I’ll place higher. I’m going to keep doing various artistic projects. It’s part of who I am. Art is a thing I do.

Bob The Skull

Being a fan. Yes, I’m a fan. I have gotten back into watching various forms of science fiction and fantasy. My reading has picked back up too. I had been in a terrible slump for a long time. This year my Goodreads account popped up a little message that told me how many books I’d managed to finish during this calendar year. I was surprised at the number. It’s not 300+ (yes, I know people that read that much) but 39 is respectable. That’s just over three books a month on average. Hopefully I’ll keep finding good stuff to read over the next year and that number will stay up around there.

The totals

I expect that 2021 will bring big changes in the world. I stay away from the political and world news type things on here as much as I can. I tend to agree with the general opinion that 2020 has been a colossal dumpster fire, but that’s an opinion based on the difficulties of others. I have, very thankfully, avoided a lot of the effects that have made 2020 such a difficult year for so many. My day job field was deemed important enough to allow me to keep my job and keep getting paid this year. That wasn’t the case for everyone. My health (and the health of my family) has been shaky, but that’s nothing new. I admit it’s been a while since we’ve been impacted the way we were here at the end of this year, but we’re working on it. Not our first rodeo as the saying goes.

Will I make predictions about what’s going to happen in the coming year? No. If nothing else this year has taught everyone the folly of that. Will I make resolutions? Nope. Still keeping the resolution to never make a resolution again. Totally winning at that one. What I will say is this:

I hope you have a happy and healthy year (and more) to come. The changing of the calendar is a convenient marker for such things, but it shouldn’t be a limit. Start something on the 30th. Keep something rolling until February. Create. Do things. Be awesome, and help others to be awesome too.

Thanks for reading.

Finishing

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It’s been a weekend of actually finishing things. I feel really good about the number of things I’ve accomplished. Thing about finishing all that other stuff was that I didn’t get much of anything accomplished here.

Found accomplishment clip art? Check.

I was finally able to finish the redecoration of our guest room (with one exception of work I don’t feel qualified to do). Back to reasonably comfortable in there.

Finished the edits for a story that will be published later this year or early next year. I’m excited for that to come out. It was a fun story to write.

Finished a contest entry and submitted it. I can’t post anything about it until after the contest is decided – I don’t think? I’m honestly not sure, but there’s a lot there to write up. I stretched outside my normal work routines and regular artistic endeavors to create a potion bottle prop. It did not live up to the vision in my head at all, but it is finished and in – and that’s a good feeling.

I finished reading a quick little book this weekend too – and I’m around 2/3 of the way through another. Good stories and even more “getting stuff done” vibe to add.

I just need to keep that vibe rolling through the week and get to updating some stuff around here and… Oh, yeah. Writing more.

What projects have you wrapped up lately?

Golden Ticket

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It has become part of the American culture. The Gene Wilder version of Willy Wonka tumbling into our living room as he shows up to give the winners of the golden ticket a tour of his legendary chocolate factory. The contest was simply to purchase a chocolate bar and see if there was a golden ticket inside. Easy. Winner of each ticket gets in, but then only the purest, most well behaved of the children invited to the tour lasts until the end without being ejected in some way for poor behavior. At the end, Charlie learns that it has all been a test and he will inherit the chocolate factory. Very much a “rags to riches” sort of theme that resonates with most Americans.

While that story can give a warm, fuzzy feeling that’s only if you don’t look too closely.

I bring this up because there was a news story (here) about somebody (claiming to be the founder of the Jelly Belly candy company) declaring that he has hidden golden tickets in various places around the US and the ultimate winner will get a candy factory. Not joking – that’s his contest.

There are issues with this.

First and one might think, most importantly, the Jelly Belly company has been forced to come out and explain that this person is not, in fact affiliated with their company and has not been since around 1980 (four decades ago). So this person running this contest is essentially using the name of a famous candy to drum up business for his contest. It’s misdirection and marketing BS right from the start. A flourish to get attention without the substance it claims.

The contest itself is less than clear on the main page. It’s not actually for kids the way the story was. You’re required to be 18 or older to participate. You’ve got to pay a $50 entry fee up front. There’s a series of steps after the entry fee that lead to a treasure hunt that might mean you can be one of the finalists…

but that’s only if enough people sign up. IF they don’t sell enough tickets they bag the whole thing. Yes, it’s in the terms and conditions part.

You’re required to be able to connect to the internet and have a valid e-mail address. It seems like a little thing these days, but to some it’s really not. We’ve seen the disparity between those that have solid internet and those that don’t pretty clearly since the start of the pandemic.

So is there a factory? Sure. The building, the machines and the land with no guarantee of actual value. It does NOT include things like the customer list, the ingredients, the recipe or formulations for the actual candy. You know, little stuff. It doesn’t cover the taxes either. It sounds like an extremely one sided business deal that’s going to unload some weak or undervalued property on somebody else.

This contest is a symbol of what I think is at the core of issues in America today. It’s run by somebody that wants things to be “like they used to be” without any concept of just how out of whack that all sounds today. It shows a distinct lack of clarity about all the criticism that was brought against the original story. This is a shadow of a contest that was designed to keep the money and power in certain hands and not others. There are small barriers that a lot of people “in the right group” wouldn’t even notice. There’s this thought that a magic ticket will solve your problem in some way. That’s not how problems get solved. Problems get solved with work, ingenuity and consistency.

Don’t go looking for the easy way out. This has the look of a trap to me. Another ‘get rich quick’ kind of scenario that really won’t end well.

I’ll be interested to see if any candy comes from this.

It’s how old?

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This post could have also been titled, The past, exclusion, anachronism and genre. It’s a conversation that has come up more than once with others and in more than one context, so I thought I’d try to lay out some thoughts to get them in order here.

The past and exclusion:

I’ve been involved in genre stuff for a long time. OK, a long time for me but not long enough for others. Even as somebody who’s supposed to be the perfect person to ‘fit in’ at 50, straight and white, I find that I still don’t fit within certain groups in the science fiction landscape. This came up again after the most recent Hugo ceremony where a famous author apparently made a speech that excluded wide swaths of folks and made a bunch more feel angry about how it was all presented. The term “microaggression” came up. For that I defer to somebody much more in the know – an author I would recommend you read when you get a chance! See his post about said microaggressions here.

That feeling, that nagging tiny comment that seems to slide off the chosen group but digs directly into your subconscious is something I deal with frequently. That probably sounds a bit odd, but it’s true. I often feel as though I’m just outside “the group” or that I’m part of the group in question, but only in my particular slice of it and don’t get into where everyone else is.

The microaggression part is in reference to science fiction authors. It is an odd club and one that has for a long time had some twisted form of gatekeeper. This is not the only place where I’ve felt as if I am the outsider. Running conventions has always been on that list too. Fandom in general if I’m being honest about it. That’s where the anachronism part comes in.

Anachronism:

There are a lot of times when I think I have landed just a decade or two later than I was supposed to. I seem to be interested in things that were really big, but really big in the past (recent or otherwise). The fanzine is an example of that. In the 70s and 80s the fanzine held a vital place in the genre landscape. Connections were made, thoughts were shared, and in some cases careers were launched. I’ve helped out with a fanzine for two decades now, but find that ours started about two decades too late for that “control group”. Even when I have reached out to those groups I’ve gotten no reply. WE were here long ago ~ you “newbie” are unwelcome here. It’s rarely said directly, but the feeling is certainly there. It’s something that truly bothers me about a genre that’s supposed to be so progressive (hint – it’s totally NOT).

That lead to another discussion about older works in science fiction. Do you really need to read the works of the people given grand master status? Should you pick up and push through something that was written thirty years before you were born? Maybe. Maybe not. Does your familiarity with these works, chosen by folks that believe they control who’s in and who’s out, matter? Other authors have taken on this topic and put forth decent opinions about it. I tend to like this take on the subject, but I don’t think it fully expresses where I am.

Genre:

I frequently enjoy any number of those old works. Reading the words of Ray Bradbury were amazing to me when I was a kid. He was truly gifted. His prose is smooth, evocative and moving. Sneaking out of the house to go to the local carnival is not a thing that any child I know today will relate to. Tattoos are not seen in quite the same context as when “Illustrated Man” was written. I like to dig into the history and see where so many amazing ideas came from. It gives context to so many things, as any study of history will… but that’s just it, they’re history. They are not entirely irrelevant, but their relevance is limited. Do they have the tug of nostalgia or the faint whiff of ‘this was big‘, of course they do. They were big and important or nobody would remember them. Movie makers have dug into many of those old works and adapted them to great success. None of them have had the cultural impact of a certain boy wizard, but even his influence has already started to change and fade. Things grow and change. It happens.

It has happened with gaming. My dearest lifetime hobby has undergone a vast change in the forty years that I have been playing it. Dungeons and Dragons is not what it used to be. Guess what? It shouldn’t be! If it had been static all this time it would have been relegated to the dust bin a long time ago. It has grown and changed and become something that looks a lot like what I have always loved, but is something new. Should I scoff or brush away people that don’t remember what it was like to have to poke chits out of a piece of cardboard because polyhedral dice were not a thing when I started? They haven’t “paid their dues” … that’s an amazing amount of bullshit all in a few simple words. Thing is, it’s an easy feeling to get. It’s easy to be resentful of people that didn’t go through challenges and to be protective of what you endured pain for.

The simplest answer is no. Whatever my feelings about genre fiction or role playing games might be, they should never be a limiting factor of how others enjoy them. Being the curmudgeonly old bastard yelling about kids and lawns is the fastest way to ensure that what you love dies. IF you’re driving people away from your hobby because they “don’t fit in”, first check your bias and privilege and second, you’re directly complicit in said death. Science fiction is supposed to be about the future. Fantasy gaming is supposed to involve your imagination and dreams. If you can’t see the future or evoke your imagination and are mired in the past, perhaps it’s best if you step aside. The best response, as far as I can tell, when somebody likes something new and shiny (that is entirely a remake of something from way back when particularly) is to say something like, “Oh, really? If you like that, I bet you’ll love this…”. The most important part of that whole statement being a welcoming and social attitude. Helping folks find more of what they love by aiming them at the things you’ve found that you love can be a fantastic way to make a personal connection and the absolute best way to get what you love to live on for a long time to come. I want science fiction and role playing games to be around for a long time to come. I hope I can share some history with you as we go.