It really seems to be a consistent theme. Not just here, but in so many sites that I have followed over the years. There’s a certain amount of content and then there’s this huge gap, the site stops updating OR the site goes away entirely. Creating content and doing it at a consistent level is not an easy thing to do. There will be gaps. Those gaps will vary in size and duration depending on things that happen in the real world, not just here in the magical world of the computer.
So – jumping this gap and moving forward. There will be more, just as soon as I get it all written down…
Doing this a little differently than I have in the past. Much more a “as it happens” thing ~ or as close to that as I get. I’m writing this while in the middle of day 2 at the con. We’ll see how it all shakes out (and if I actually get back to this before I have to go all the way home).
Getting to the con from home was a challenge. There are 0 things the con can do about travel distance or traffic challenges, but it was certainly part of my experience. the 3.5 hour drive that was supposed to get me here took about 5 when I finally got here and got checked in. That was… not ideal. It was a difficult way to start.
Once I was actually here, at the venue, I discovered their wayfinding / signage to be lacking. Getting around here is not an easy thing when you’ve never been here before. There are actually 3 buildings containing various aspects of the convention and NONE of that is clear from the entry drive or signage from the parking area(s). I realize that wayfinding signs are part of my day job / professional life, but it makes such a huge difference to a persons experience. Bad signs meant it was hard to find the hotel registration. Then it was hard to figure out the right parking area / path to my room in the building next door. THEN I had to go and figure out con registration in the third building.
I figured it out, but by the time I got through all that I was just beat. I was done, I just didn’t know it yet.
I grabbed the person I’m rooming with and grabbed a bite to eat at a local sub shop, then came back to find 0 parking spaces available at the hotel lot near my room. Very frustrating.
I headed off to a panel that said it was about role playing informing your writing. What I got from the panel was a lengthy discussion about story telling informing your gaming. NOT the sort of panel that overwhelmed me and filled me with a desire to go and do more.
In the end, I decided that I was well and truly exhausted from the combination of a long work week and a miserable drive. I turned in early… missing out on the kind of fun you find at cons, like light up ice cubes for your party drinks!
Hopefully day 02 will bring more and better things…
I’ve been loosely tracking the mess that has become the open gaming license (OGL) that has been cascading across nerdland over the past 3 weeks. It’s been an emotional ride, and a painful one for many creators out there. I’m going to transfer a part of a social media conversation over here – because I want what I said to live here, where I can get it when I want it. Social media platforms come and go.
My original post:
There’s a lot to keep up with in this ongoing saga, but I think this quote, and the headline says a lot,
“This is a community that literally invented the term “rules lawyer.” WotC simply didn’t realize how literally that would be taken.”
Even this is a bit complicit and extremely naïve, given the repeated attempts a corporate gaslighting. It is also hilariously behind the times, as it has not incorporated their latest retraction and attempted capitulation (which is -still- a half measure, for those who are savvy to the issues).
With each compromise “attempt,” WotC have left something out, and it’s been pretty obvious to those of us invested in this fight. That’s what the author is hilariously and flagrantly blind to, which showcases them as a Corpo stooge, and thus part of the problem.
The notion of these companies (outside of WotC) working together, despite being “market competitors” with differing systems, and ORC being a system agnostic license seems to escape them.
The part I wanted to have here:
Couple of thoughts here –
“behind the times” could be me. I have posted this later than the instant gratification time table. While I am a creator, I am not constantly on here. While it’s important to stay up to date on things, immediate response is not for all. Thoughtful consideration matters, and that can take time.
The various stages of WotC’s flailing response were not the intent of this article (as I see it). The author is attempting to express something ingrained in my own point of view ~ corporations are not your friend, and they never will be. You are a resource to them and given the chance they will strip mine everything they can from you. The fact that the author works for a large corporation making them part of the problem is one opinion… but I think name calling is counterproductive.
One thing I take from this whole, ugly slap of pit fighting for cash is that there is a much, much larger community out there than ever before. Having lost friends as part of the satanic panic (being directly told this is why we can’t be friends – go away) it’s more important to me that we recognize the golden age we live in and work harder to be inclusive. We have more now than ever before – revel in it.
Systems will come and go. Companies will come and go. Communicating and finding new (and profitable) ways to do things will be the constant. Be aware of what corporations are up to, pay attention. Be thoughtful and considerate – and support the creators you know. The best thing we have is each other.
MORE TO FOLLOW
Social media is a tricky thing to manage. I’m sure this conversation will continue, but as I time shift a significant amount of my work, it will take time. Stick with the things you love. Find something that will last a lifetime and create! I look forward to seeing what we all make.
I genuinely did not recall that was the official starting point of the Pretend Blog. Yes, my blog was not always on my own website. I moved it here so that it would be totally mine and I could post, list and keep whatever crossed my mind. History lesson – I named it the Pretend Blog because I knew I was going to be pretending that other people would be reading it. I planned to write whatever came to mind or whatever I found amusing at the moment. I believe I posted a link to a music video that amused me (it still does – check it out here).
I didn’t click on the link. I’m afraid of what LJ may or may not have turned into. I noticed the advertisement that LJ is “in” social networks… I thought they were a social network? It was confusing and one of the red flags that made me thing clicking any link there was suspect.
Here we are 15 years in. Somehow I thought it would be more… something?
Maybe I’ll be able to track anniversaries more accurately moving forward and we can post some kind of fireworks here for 20. Just have to get there.
Despite having a little time off and the availability to work on things for my website, I didn’t do all the “end of year” things that so many people program and just let go. I find as often as not that I get frustrated by recycled content. There are certainly things to look back at – both good and bad – but there are also many things to look forward to.
No, I don’t do resolutions. I made a new year’s resolution many years ago to *never* make a new year’s resolution again, and I haven’t since then. I post about it every year, and it hasn’t changed.
I received a summary of my “year in books” from Goodreads. I was extremely disappointed in my summary. Not because of the company or the format or anything like that. It was the simple fact that I ended up with less than 10 books for the year. It was just about 2,600 pages of reading total, but the “books read” also included one that I literally shelved as “DNF” because I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It would be easy to be very depressed about this lack of quality reading, but I’m going to take the advice of a random internet person and be happy that I was reading. I didn’t stop reading, I’m just going slower than my previous years of 2 or 3 books per month. I’ve had a lot going on in my life and reading for pleasure became something of a challenge – but I didn’t stop. There are so many people out there that don’t read at all, and I do NOT want to join those ranks. I’m taking it as a win that I kept plugging along.
So this year I’m going to keep doing the things I love. It will still be a challenging time as things move and change and grow in the family life here. I’ll still have to work at making the time to actually accomplish things, but for some reason the start of this year doesn’t feel as bleak as some in the past. We’ll see.
Up next – some of that “creating” stuff. More to follow~
Remember way back at the end of the summer? The sun was out, the weather was warm and there was all this time to just sit and ponder the particulars of being a parent. Writing and creating posts just whenever the mood moved. Something about drama and what parents should… something. I don’t remember.
Here we are in the dark and chilly days of mid-November and somehow two whole months have disappeared. Oh, I know where they went, but they’re are gone just the same.
Having two, non-driving teenagers in different clubs and school based activities has proven to be quite the challenge. Morning, noon and night the schedule here is relentless. Then of course is the drama – the laughing, the tears the yelling… and that’s just me.
There is of course also my professional world. Writing is NOT the day job, and the day job is jumping. On the up side of that, I have accomplished a major first step in my career that has taken me many, many years to get to. It’s just a step, but an important one.
In the end, some of my creativity has suffered. I would not trade a minute of it for sitting and staring at the blank page. Writing is a solitary endeavor in the end, and I have NOT been solitary. I am just fine with this. Long nights and ugly weather will pen us in and give ample time for posting things up to an old fashioned notion like a blog. Hopefully I’ll get here more than once a quarter…
A friend forwarded this editorial/opinion article to me. I read it and had more of a reaction to it than I thought I might have, so I wanted to put this out here for further discussion.
Thanks for sending this one along. It was an interesting read, but I think it highlights a couple of things that I have changed my mind about over the years.
The author talks about all the things to hide from your children. This is untrue, and in fact can lead to sincerely dangerous consequences for your kids. Do you want to have a raging argument in front of your kids? No. Do you want them to understand it’s OK to disagree so long as you work something out to mutual agreement? You bet. You can’t have the mutual agreement without seeing / understanding the differences and disagreements. This I think is one of the core issues with so many children that come up not understanding the privilege they have. They fail to understand how the world works and they are crushed when somebody denies them anything – even if that thing is of no consequence in the greater picture. It’s why so many are deemed to be “Karens” who demand to see the manager about how much milk is in a coffee.
People are chaotic, messy and individualistic in the extreme… but they need to see others and understand the shared environment we live in. Hiding the swirling chaos of the world from a kid doesn’t help them. Protect them from it? Of course. Just be certain they understand and can see what’s going on out there. It’s how they go about making the world a better place as society moves forward. They need to know the history or root of why things are happening, so they can (hopefully) do better than we did.
Children also need to understand that the emotions they’re having are real and can’t be dictated by others. “Putting on a brave face” only becomes a saying if you allow them to see that you are scared too. Show them you have feelings and allow them to understand how you process these complex things in life. I have told the younger couples I know with kids – you will never have a mirror that will reflect YOU as clearly as your kids do. They dominate your time. They are with you almost constantly for years, and so they see far more than you think they do. Don’t lie to them. It’s a bad road to travel. Don’t hurt them purposefully, but allow them to fail and recover on their own when they’re young and the consequences are limited (or can be so long as you’re paying attention). It’s one in a long list of very important lessons.
I understand what the author is saying. It was extremely stressful to have (my daughter) get on a plane and fly away for a year. It’s not even like the author’s situation where we could soothe our emotions by knowing she’d be home for the next holiday. She wasn’t. Not for the one after that nor the one after that either. It was a long and stressful year – and we all shared that with each other. We are better and stronger for it. Now we’re trying to do the same thing for a wonderful young lady here from France. It’s going to be a wild ride, and one that we share all our emotions with them for.
I am going to add here that this is a learning process and there is no substitute for experience. There’s only one way to get experience and that’s to do a thing. Sometimes you fail… and that makes all the difference in the world. It’s how you learn and a way for you to discover new things. A partial quote from an old movie I enjoy, “…think what you’ll know tomorrow”.
I have come to discover that writing in any form is a struggle. Yes, I know – all the writers and creative types I know just collectively said “duh”. I get it, but sometimes saying it (or typing it) helps with the reality of making a change.
I am a writer that runs on inspiration. Long haul work is extremely difficult doing that, and finishing something the size and scope of a novel is exactly that – a long haul. I suck at that.
I’ve been chipping away at the edges of writing for many years, but what I have been doing is clearly not working, nor is it getting me the result I desire. I need to finish more, but in order to finish more I need to actually create more. I can’t sit and wait for inspiration or the ever elusive (thought to be mythical) ‘free time’.
So – I’m going to be squeezing things in. Maybe the edits won’t be great. There will be grammar and spelling issues. I can’t edit if it’s not created. The secret story in my head will never go anywhere without trying to record it in some form.
That’s a simple view, I know. It’s one of those easy to say, difficult to quantify kind of things – to some degree. There are clear examples of what is wrong. Those are the easy ones. It exists in more than one form, and it relates to so many levels of what we do in the science fiction and fantasy fan communities.
I’ve been sitting on this one for a while. It’s a tough topic. I expect somebody will dig this up and that it will cause me problems in the future. This is why it’s on MY site. I own it. It’s mine. I have taken some time and given this much thought and I think it’s important to continue this conversation. That’s the key to all of this. It’s a conversation. It’s something we need to address now and as we move forward. There is no simple solution and there is no easy way to make this go. We need to keep communicating with each other.
Let’s start with the easy stuff. There are some people out there who think, for some unknown reason, that they should be the ‘real’ fans of Star Wars. They’ve declared some nonsense about how people who are not white Americans can’t and shouldn’t ever be in the movies that have been loved since 1977. They’re easy to spot. They’re terrible. There’s simply no place in fandom for people that can’t accept that people who make up less than 12% of the entire world population don’t rule everything and can’t exclude everyone else. Above and beyond a basic level of stupidity, there is no place in civil society for those who make death threats against actors for portraying a character in a movie. That’s a kind of crazy that slides into another topic entirely (we’ve created our own hell-scape of cults of personality) and isn’t what I want to get at here. If you want to read more, check this article out as a starting point. There are lots of conversations going on out there about it.
The part that’s much more difficult to deal with is at a very personal level. It happens far too often these days and it worries me for the future of fandom for a whole different reason. Toxicity is eating away at the core of fandom – from both sides. The grievance crowd is going to destroy fandom.
Being the vocal minority doesn’t make you right no matter how right you believe you are. When somebody says something you don’t agree with, it doesn’t mean you are allowed to have them thrown out of the building. If your feelings get hurt it doesn’t mean the other person is automatically a bigot, problematic or any other sort of label YOU believe they should carry. When you think you want to lash out at others, you need to ask why you feel this way and maybe… just maybe… take a step back and allow some time to think about things.
We are all guilty of this to some degree at some point in our lives. We are emotional creatures. We react. We want to defend ourselves and those we care for. It’s natural. IF you’ve been the person that has been slighted, ignored, insulted and treated badly all of your life this is something that builds. This feeling turns into something ugly and dangerous. How we conduct ourselves when these sort of things come up matters.
What am I trying to say? Let me start with my own example. I have worked on convention staffs for many years. I love helping make something for so many people to enjoy. There are challenges, but anything worth doing has those. I have worked with all sorts of people from all over. Fans are great folks and have made some of the most wonderful memories for me. I volunteered to help with the previous world con, a staff team I hadn’t worked with before. I was trying to find my way and see where I could fit in and help. Then the GOH mess went down and I withdrew my help. Did you catch the part about it being volunteers? Yeah, even if you pay me I’m not hanging around for that. The most worrisome part was this was accepted. Not questioned, just accepted.
I wrote about it in a previous post here. Back in February of 2021 in fact. So here we are a year and a half later and I think the issue has only gotten worse. I don’t want people to think this is some kind of ‘crying out’ because I feel like I’m being repressed or something. I’m clearly not repressed or disadvantaged. I know there is privilege living here and I try to be mindful of it. I’m also don’t want this to be a ‘virtue signal’ kind of bullshit. I can’t stand that. “Look at how wonderful and accepting I am! I’m clearly not the problem you’re talking about…” Ugh!
Maybe I am the problem. I don’t know that without talking to others and having them talk to me.
Here’s where the real challenges start. Yeah, I’m a middle aged white guy. I know a lot of other people who look just like me. That’s who I have always associated with. It’s culturally my background and that has a huge influence on my opinions and bias. I have been told more than once that my opinion doesn’t matter simply because I’m a white male. I’ve been told to get over being told that. I’ve been given the ‘so how does it feel’ bit. I’ve been excluded from conversations and told that project submissions were only open to ‘others who need a chance’. While it wasn’t me, but a friend – there was even something in writing, “Well, you’re an old white guy so you must have done something wrong…”. In writing. From a supposedly professional group.
Really? We can’t find it now, but give us time? You’re a white guy so all the problems are your fault? This is all the wrongs of history that (may or may not have) happened to me so now I’m giving those to you! Take that medicine you horrifying bigot!
So, back to the maybe I’m the problem part. OK. Fine. Maybe I am. I can accept that I need to be more mindful than I am and work harder to be better. I certainly try, but success is relative to viewpoint. There are lots of places looking to get more diverse work out there and I don’t qualify for that in this field. OK. I’ll take it.
This didn’t just happen to me. It’s happening over and over again with people taking advantage of the simple fact that people have started to pay attention to what’s being said and taking action on it. Grievance culture. It’s insidious because how do you argue against things like, “you can’t call that person a freak just because they don’t look like you”? You don’t. You can’t. Even when the definition of the word freak is, “A person, animal or plant with an unusual physical abnormality”. Webster be damned! You can’t point that sort of thing out! How dare you?
Where’s the line? When can you tell anyone else what to say, how to think about something or how to address a situation? We’re all products of our own cultural backgrounds. What if I make a mistake? Am I to be punished and then banished forever? Who is the arbitrator of that judgment? Public opinion is fickle and dangerous. Swaying with and allowing the grievance crowd to simply take over is going to destroy volunteer run conventions… faster and more certainly than aging out or poor attendance ever had a chance to.
Don’t believe me?
At this past Balticon (#56) a woman of color living with a debilitating physical condition, parent of a trans person, and long time panelist and guest was summarily chucked out due to a complaint. A single complaint.
I was there when they came to get her. It was the panel I was moderating. I was standing there. I can’t speak for how others feel, but the lone staffer seemed quite respectful when asking her to gather up her things and accompany him to con-ops. He wasn’t loud and he did not make any accusations while there. He didn’t express anything other than, “please come with me, we’ll talk elsewhere”. It was a very simple and quiet thing that most had no concept about anything happening at all. I feel that the characterization of being treated ‘criminally’ is inaccurate, but again – that’s from the outsider point of view. In the end, that little bit that I witnessed isn’t important but it gives context for the rest of my message. They weren’t coming for me… this time.
I regret not digging into things more while I was there. I attempted (successfully) to steer clear of personal drama. I attend and work cons as a matter of enjoyment, and I find that type of drama stressful rather than enjoyable. Maybe I needed to do or say more… but there’s a problem with that. The grievance crowd. How can I help when my opinion doesn’t matter or is discounted or ignored out of hand?
This isn’t about me, but this whole post is to explain where I’m coming from. The only thing any intervention by me would have done is muddy the waters (at best) or cause a significantly bigger issue (at worst). I have been seeing a distressing trend in fandom – pushing people away rather than working with them and trying to relate to them. I have been called a racist, accepting of racists, problematic and told flat out to my face that I’m a white, straight (assumed), middle aged man and therefore part of the problem and that it’s not possible for me to be part of the solution. I have been marginalized by my appearance and had power taken from me on that basis. What it looks like to me, in a deeply oversimplified way, is that those who have suffered that treatment before are now taking any and every opportunity to do that to others rather than working to make things better for everyone. Sort of a ‘how do you like it’ approach to being in power.
Conventions are not my direct livelihood, nor to they help or hinder my day job. My reputation in the convention circuit doesn’t stop me from putting food on the table for my family. Conventions are some people’s livings or a significant portion of them. Their standing and reputation there matters. If somebody came at my job in that way I’d be more than angry – and rightfully so. The person in question is a pro and while I have found her point of view odd at times, I have never felt that it wasn’t important. I love the stuff she brings to panels. Having diverse opinions matters. Having authors like her, and so many others is vital. I’m sorry that she won’t be back (and if I were her, I wouldn’t be either).
The culture of con running is in trouble. This is not the first time I’ve encountered a mess like this. It’s the reason I won’t work on con staff for other cons anymore. There’s part of me that’s very sad about this. I do love doing all these wonderful, creative things.
So long as I’m unfailingly polite and professional there’s nothing to latch onto as a complaint. Maybe I need to say more. I deeply believe that the science fiction and fantasy community needs to be more accepting and welcoming. I said, specifically at the panel I moderated, “If you can’t find that person, be that person…” and gave some examples. I will continue to go to Balticon (and others) if they’ll have me (I understand that I’m a ‘D’-lister that just fills space). I think there’s a dangerous culture growing around the idea of ‘you didn’t say exactly the right thing’, and I fear for the future of convention staffs across the board. I hope by continuing to attend that I can in some way be part of the solution. I told people I wasn’t going to virtue signal and I don’t want this to sound like that. I am, however, going to reach out to people about this when I have the chance. I want to stand up for others. I want the toxicity to go away. I’m sick to death of the grievance crowd. I want fans to be able to keep doing the things they love. I hope to be able to continue to have important and meaningful conversations about making cons a safe and accepting place for everyone. I hope you’ll join the conversation too.
This past Memorial Day weekend I was lucky enough to go back to being a panelist at a live, in person science fiction convention. I was and am very happy to be able to get back to that sort of thing. I’ve missed it. At this point, with so much time passing between the event and the actual writing of my post(s) I suspect there will be details that are hazy and that will make the summaries shorter than they may have once been.
The con took place May 27 – 30, 2022 at the Renaissance Baltimore Harborplace hotel. Right in the middle of Inner Harbor. The location was (and continues to be) something of a sore spot for many people. The hotel itself is expensive. Parking is generally expensive as well, but the con made arrangements for a deal with the parking company and that worked out really well. I was able to save a fair amount of money compared to past years by setting up my parking in advance. The area itself, the places around the con seem to be struggling. All but a very few businesses in the area are gone. The restaurant choices were thin and did not lend themselves to quick con based meals. All the other shops, including the shopping mall previously below the convention are are simply closed and gone. The absolute lack of options was one of the most challenging aspects of attending. The room, the amenities and the rest of the hotel related things were pretty standard.
Checking in this year was the smoothest it’s been in a long time. There was one minor blip, but in general worked and I was in and out of the registration area very quickly. The set up / arrangement of the convention spaces was very similar to years past, with the notable exception of splitting the dealer’s room into two different spaces. This worked for me, though it’s questionable what the vendors themselves thought of the arrangement.
One of the bigger changes as an ‘in person’ panelist was the addition / continuation of virtual panels. I’d brought my own laptop along and set it up in my hotel room. This turned out to be a good thing. There was mention of a space being available on site for folks to participate in the virtual panels, but from what I witnessed of that it was less than successful. Running all the tech for all the panels AND having a place for a panelist to just drop in and use ‘extra’ equipment didn’t seem to go well at all. I don’t think any mention of availability should have been made for the panelists and I think the panelists should have been far more prepared than the ones I witnessed were. Thankfully, my connection went off without a hitch and I got to participate in a virtual panel to go along with my in person sessions.
The pandemic made a lot of other things feel slightly different or out of sync with what I have become used to over the years. Attendees were there, and wearing masks as was the rule. They were generally friendly and happy to see others in person, but the numbers seemed down. I understand the hesitation of many, so this wasn’t entirely unexpected but I hope it’s not a sign of the death of in person cons (and that death has been rumored for many, many years of course). The other aspect of this con for me was a profound shift in who of my friend group were there. My family didn’t attend. People I always went to dinner with didn’t attend. People I’d sit and share a drink with or bump into between panels weren’t there. Even things I did get to do with friends seemed muted and worn. Yes, I went to dinner. Yes, there were games and chatting and all of it seemed… slightly surreal. I was adrift and on my own and that is certainly not my convention experience in the past.
It was a good con for me. I did a bunch of panels, ran a workshop and bought a handful of things from wonderful creators. I also managed to (mostly) avoid con drama. I say mostly, and that deserves an explanation, but also that deserves its own post. All in all, it was good to be back. I hope and look forward to doing it all again next year.
