Defection

Posted on September 6, 2023 by Eric

Back in July I had every intention of posting right away about an American soldier stationed in South Korea who had… somehow… gone across the DMZ to the North Korean side of the line. It felt like it was the sort of thing that I could comment on, and wanted to get it out there in some form of timely manner. There was also the idea of recognizing armistice day and giving a little bit of history. Clearly, given the dearth of actual posts over the summer months that didn’t happen, but that actually makes this post hit harder.

A little background. Back in the early 90s I was in the army. It was a single ‘tour’. I didn’t reenlist and got out when my contract was up. I don’t consider myself a particularly good soldier, nor do I believe I should use my status as a veteran for any kind of advantage. I signed up and did my thing and got out. The luckiest part of my entire military life was not being sent to the desert like so many of my friends (Gulf War time). One thing I did do was a year in South Korea. I left the US and headed to Camp Hovey, around ten miles from the DMZ. It was called a dependent restricted tour (no families) and generally meant spending that year with a bunch of dudes. The male to female soldier ratio was about 18 to 1. There were many, many off duty rounds of drinks and more than a little fighting.

While I was there I learned. I saw things I had never known of, participated in things I had never done before and it became part of the life changing thing that was my military service. One day during my year there I pulled on my full dress uniform and went on a tour to see the DMZ. It was a surreal experience. I got my photo taken inside one of the buildings on the north side of the line. There was a great deal of tension. We were given strict orders not to gesture, make faces or otherwise make any sort of noise or motion that would give the north something they could use for propaganda purposes. I asked when was the last time anyone had actually taken a shot across the line, thinking in my naive way that the answer would be in the 1950s. The corporal leading the tour said, “Two weeks ago. Did you see it on the news?” I shook my head no. He continued, “Then it didn’t happen… did it?” with the sort of emphasis that I inferred to mean, NO, indeed, nothing of the sort would possibly happen.

For emphasis, the ‘shooting’ part of this war was supposed to have stopped back in 1953. About 40 years before I was standing there. As I stated, it’s a bit surreal.

Fast forward to 2023. For those of you not catching the math, that’s 30 years after my trip there. Guess what? Nothing has changed.

That’s right. Nothing has changed. At the 70 year mark there are still people willing to shoot at each other for things that went on during their grandparents’ lives. It’s not like the veterans from that war are going to be standing out there – it will be the 20 somethings in the military today. The saddest part is, the kids on the US side probably didn’t even get a full lesson on the conflict. That makes the ‘running across the line’ that much sadder.

When I said the story hits harder now? That soldier from the US who ‘defected’ or whatever? That was July 19th. It’s September as of this writing – almost a full 2 months later. Have you heard any more about him? Is it still a headline thing?

No. And it won’t be. That kid is gone. IF he comes back, and I think that’s highly unlikely, he will be physically damaged from his ordeal and you will be able to see it. He won’t be the same in his thought process either, though that will likely be harder to see.

It’s been 70 years. Why aren’t we teaching more about what is happening there? What will it take to get people to change their minds?

Some history:

Recognizing “National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day” – July 25, 2023

Seventy years ago on July 27, 1953, the Korean War Armistice was signed. This ended fighting between the parties and left the boundary between North and South Korea at approximately the same location as when the war began a little over three years before.

A look at the numbers:

Over 1.8 million American troops were sent to fight in South Korea
36,000 Americans lost their lives
100,000 came home with injuries from the result of the war
7,500 men and women who still remain missing in action

For reasons that we can only speculate, Korean War Veterans never had victory parades or welcome-home celebrations. They simply came home and were expected to pick up where they left off before they went off to war. Some speculate that there was no celebration because there was no victory, or perhaps the American people were tired of war, this being so close to the end of WW2, and were ready to move on. Or maybe they did not see the importance of war in some far-off land that no one had heard of before June 1950 when North Korea invaded South Korea. Regardless, the Korean War deserves a day of recognition.

By tradition, on July 27th every year, the President of the United States issues a proclamation declaring the day National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day. If you know a Korean War Vet, your father, uncle, aunt, or maybe even a coworker, please thank them for their service. They deserve recognition for their sacrifice.

The Weight of Emptiness

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Eric

Sometimes, the most challenging thing to get past is the blank space where your creativity lived. I was reviewing my posts here and realized it’s been about 2 months since I posted. I’d looked at my site and all the things associated with it many times during those weeks between the last post and this one, and every time there was this weight.

How do you deal with the lack? Do you create yet another post filled with reasoning and bargaining and excuses? Do you just go on as if nothing has happened? Do you make radical changes and put that forward as a reason?

In the end, I don’t suspect it matters much. I don’t have many (read ‘any’) fans. I have friends, but none actually comment on what goes up here or doesn’t go up here. I’m genuinely uncertain most days why I keep this site. I suppose that will be something I need to consider moving forward.

Things will pop back up here. There will be more posts. Maybe changes are coming… we’ll see.

Gaps

Posted on July 1, 2023 by Eric

It really seems to be a consistent theme. Not just here, but in so many sites that I have followed over the years. There’s a certain amount of content and then there’s this huge gap, the site stops updating OR the site goes away entirely. Creating content and doing it at a consistent level is not an easy thing to do. There will be gaps. Those gaps will vary in size and duration depending on things that happen in the real world, not just here in the magical world of the computer.

So – jumping this gap and moving forward. There will be more, just as soon as I get it all written down…

RavenCon Report

Posted on April 22, 2023 by Eric

Day 01

Doing this a little differently than I have in the past. Much more a “as it happens” thing ~ or as close to that as I get. I’m writing this while in the middle of day 2 at the con. We’ll see how it all shakes out (and if I actually get back to this before I have to go all the way home).

Getting to the con from home was a challenge. There are 0 things the con can do about travel distance or traffic challenges, but it was certainly part of my experience. the 3.5 hour drive that was supposed to get me here took about 5 when I finally got here and got checked in. That was… not ideal. It was a difficult way to start.

Once I was actually here, at the venue, I discovered their wayfinding / signage to be lacking. Getting around here is not an easy thing when you’ve never been here before. There are actually 3 buildings containing various aspects of the convention and NONE of that is clear from the entry drive or signage from the parking area(s). I realize that wayfinding signs are part of my day job / professional life, but it makes such a huge difference to a persons experience. Bad signs meant it was hard to find the hotel registration. Then it was hard to figure out the right parking area / path to my room in the building next door. THEN I had to go and figure out con registration in the third building.

I figured it out, but by the time I got through all that I was just beat. I was done, I just didn’t know it yet.

I grabbed the person I’m rooming with and grabbed a bite to eat at a local sub shop, then came back to find 0 parking spaces available at the hotel lot near my room. Very frustrating.

I headed off to a panel that said it was about role playing informing your writing. What I got from the panel was a lengthy discussion about story telling informing your gaming. NOT the sort of panel that overwhelmed me and filled me with a desire to go and do more.

In the end, I decided that I was well and truly exhausted from the combination of a long work week and a miserable drive. I turned in early… missing out on the kind of fun you find at cons, like light up ice cubes for your party drinks!

Hopefully day 02 will bring more and better things…

The OGL Mess

Posted on January 29, 2023 by Eric

I’ve been loosely tracking the mess that has become the open gaming license (OGL) that has been cascading across nerdland over the past 3 weeks. It’s been an emotional ride, and a painful one for many creators out there. I’m going to transfer a part of a social media conversation over here – because I want what I said to live here, where I can get it when I want it. Social media platforms come and go.

My original post:

There’s a lot to keep up with in this ongoing saga, but I think this quote, and the headline says a lot,

“This is a community that literally invented the term “rules lawyer.” WotC simply didn’t realize how literally that would be taken.”

https://gizmodo.com/dungeons-and-dragons-dnd-ogl-goodwill-1-2-feedback-1850036746

The response:

Even this is a bit complicit and extremely naïve, given the repeated attempts a corporate gaslighting. It is also hilariously behind the times, as it has not incorporated their latest retraction and attempted capitulation (which is -still- a half measure, for those who are savvy to the issues).

With each compromise “attempt,” WotC have left something out, and it’s been pretty obvious to those of us invested in this fight. That’s what the author is hilariously and flagrantly blind to, which showcases them as a Corpo stooge, and thus part of the problem.

The notion of these companies (outside of WotC) working together, despite being “market competitors” with differing systems, and ORC being a system agnostic license seems to escape them.

The part I wanted to have here:

Couple of thoughts here –

“behind the times” could be me. I have posted this later than the instant gratification time table. While I am a creator, I am not constantly on here. While it’s important to stay up to date on things, immediate response is not for all. Thoughtful consideration matters, and that can take time.

The various stages of WotC’s flailing response were not the intent of this article (as I see it). The author is attempting to express something ingrained in my own point of view ~ corporations are not your friend, and they never will be. You are a resource to them and given the chance they will strip mine everything they can from you. The fact that the author works for a large corporation making them part of the problem is one opinion… but I think name calling is counterproductive.

One thing I take from this whole, ugly slap of pit fighting for cash is that there is a much, much larger community out there than ever before. Having lost friends as part of the satanic panic (being directly told this is why we can’t be friends – go away) it’s more important to me that we recognize the golden age we live in and work harder to be inclusive. We have more now than ever before – revel in it.

Systems will come and go. Companies will come and go. Communicating and finding new (and profitable) ways to do things will be the constant. Be aware of what corporations are up to, pay attention. Be thoughtful and considerate – and support the creators you know. The best thing we have is each other.

MORE TO FOLLOW

Social media is a tricky thing to manage. I’m sure this conversation will continue, but as I time shift a significant amount of my work, it will take time. Stick with the things you love. Find something that will last a lifetime and create! I look forward to seeing what we all make.

Obligatory Posts

Posted on January 2, 2023 by Eric

Despite having a little time off and the availability to work on things for my website, I didn’t do all the “end of year” things that so many people program and just let go. I find as often as not that I get frustrated by recycled content. There are certainly things to look back at – both good and bad – but there are also many things to look forward to.

No, I don’t do resolutions. I made a new year’s resolution many years ago to *never* make a new year’s resolution again, and I haven’t since then. I post about it every year, and it hasn’t changed.

I received a summary of my “year in books” from Goodreads. I was extremely disappointed in my summary. Not because of the company or the format or anything like that. It was the simple fact that I ended up with less than 10 books for the year. It was just about 2,600 pages of reading total, but the “books read” also included one that I literally shelved as “DNF” because I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It would be easy to be very depressed about this lack of quality reading, but I’m going to take the advice of a random internet person and be happy that I was reading. I didn’t stop reading, I’m just going slower than my previous years of 2 or 3 books per month. I’ve had a lot going on in my life and reading for pleasure became something of a challenge – but I didn’t stop. There are so many people out there that don’t read at all, and I do NOT want to join those ranks. I’m taking it as a win that I kept plugging along.

So this year I’m going to keep doing the things I love. It will still be a challenging time as things move and change and grow in the family life here. I’ll still have to work at making the time to actually accomplish things, but for some reason the start of this year doesn’t feel as bleak as some in the past. We’ll see.

Up next – some of that “creating” stuff. More to follow~

That drama

Posted on November 13, 2022 by Eric

Remember way back at the end of the summer? The sun was out, the weather was warm and there was all this time to just sit and ponder the particulars of being a parent. Writing and creating posts just whenever the mood moved. Something about drama and what parents should… something. I don’t remember.

Here we are in the dark and chilly days of mid-November and somehow two whole months have disappeared. Oh, I know where they went, but they’re are gone just the same.

Having two, non-driving teenagers in different clubs and school based activities has proven to be quite the challenge. Morning, noon and night the schedule here is relentless. Then of course is the drama – the laughing, the tears the yelling… and that’s just me.

There is of course also my professional world. Writing is NOT the day job, and the day job is jumping. On the up side of that, I have accomplished a major first step in my career that has taken me many, many years to get to. It’s just a step, but an important one.

In the end, some of my creativity has suffered. I would not trade a minute of it for sitting and staring at the blank page. Writing is a solitary endeavor in the end, and I have NOT been solitary. I am just fine with this. Long nights and ugly weather will pen us in and give ample time for posting things up to an old fashioned notion like a blog. Hopefully I’ll get here more than once a quarter…

Hidden Drama

Posted on August 28, 2022 by Eric

A friend forwarded this editorial/opinion article to me. I read it and had more of a reaction to it than I thought I might have, so I wanted to put this out here for further discussion.

The article

The answer:

Thanks for sending this one along. It was an interesting read, but I think it highlights a couple of things that I have changed my mind about over the years.

The author talks about all the things to hide from your children. This is untrue, and in fact can lead to sincerely dangerous consequences for your kids. Do you want to have a raging argument in front of your kids? No. Do you want them to understand it’s OK to disagree so long as you work something out to mutual agreement? You bet. You can’t have the mutual agreement without seeing / understanding the differences and disagreements. This I think is one of the core issues with so many children that come up not understanding the privilege they have. They fail to understand how the world works and they are crushed when somebody denies them anything – even if that thing is of no consequence in the greater picture. It’s why so many are deemed to be “Karens” who demand to see the manager about how much milk is in a coffee.

People are chaotic, messy and individualistic in the extreme… but they need to see others and understand the shared environment we live in. Hiding the swirling chaos of the world from a kid doesn’t help them. Protect them from it? Of course. Just be certain they understand and can see what’s going on out there. It’s how they go about making the world a better place as society moves forward. They need to know the history or root of why things are happening, so they can (hopefully) do better than we did.

Children also need to understand that the emotions they’re having are real and can’t be dictated by others. “Putting on a brave face” only becomes a saying if you allow them to see that you are scared too. Show them you have feelings and allow them to understand how you process these complex things in life. I have told the younger couples I know with kids – you will never have a mirror that will reflect YOU as clearly as your kids do. They dominate your time. They are with you almost constantly for years, and so they see far more than you think they do. Don’t lie to them. It’s a bad road to travel. Don’t hurt them purposefully, but allow them to fail and recover on their own when they’re young and the consequences are limited (or can be so long as you’re paying attention). It’s one in a long list of very important lessons.

I understand what the author is saying. It was extremely stressful to have (my daughter) get on a plane and fly away for a year. It’s not even like the author’s situation where we could soothe our emotions by knowing she’d be home for the next holiday. She wasn’t. Not for the one after that nor the one after that either. It was a long and stressful year – and we all shared that with each other. We are better and stronger for it. Now we’re trying to do the same thing for a wonderful young lady here from France. It’s going to be a wild ride, and one that we share all our emotions with them for.

I am going to add here that this is a learning process and there is no substitute for experience. There’s only one way to get experience and that’s to do a thing. Sometimes you fail… and that makes all the difference in the world. It’s how you learn and a way for you to discover new things. A partial quote from an old movie I enjoy, “…think what you’ll know tomorrow”.

Squeezing

Posted on August 6, 2022 by Eric

I have come to discover that writing in any form is a struggle. Yes, I know – all the writers and creative types I know just collectively said “duh”. I get it, but sometimes saying it (or typing it) helps with the reality of making a change.

I am a writer that runs on inspiration. Long haul work is extremely difficult doing that, and finishing something the size and scope of a novel is exactly that – a long haul. I suck at that.

I’ve been chipping away at the edges of writing for many years, but what I have been doing is clearly not working, nor is it getting me the result I desire. I need to finish more, but in order to finish more I need to actually create more. I can’t sit and wait for inspiration or the ever elusive (thought to be mythical) ‘free time’.

So – I’m going to be squeezing things in. Maybe the edits won’t be great. There will be grammar and spelling issues. I can’t edit if it’s not created. The secret story in my head will never go anywhere without trying to record it in some form.

There you go – I squoze it myself.

The Pretend Blog

Fan, Author, Artist – Eric Hardenbrook

Category Archives: Personal Observation